When Good is'nt Wise

Ahem . . . I dunno if this is just me but I am hoping that someone who reads this will relate . . .

So I did this thing today. It was a *good* thing to do. No strings attached – Just a simple good deed, done out of a simple good motive. But only after doing it I realized, it was not exactly or perhaps not at all WISE.

I felt awful realizing that. Just awful.

That’s also because I take myself way too seriously and overreact but that apart, this has always been one of my biggest problems.

Knowing –
One, When is something that’s Good not Wise.
Two, When to do Good even if it is not wise, (like when you sometimes have to follow your heart and not your mind) and when not to.

There are times I jump into doing something Good, not thinking it over at all, like today and then I realize it isn’t wise. Sometimes I play it over in my mind so many times and then don’t do something Good even if I should have done it!

End Result: I feel awful.

Solution (?) : I don’t know if I’ll ever find one, because Life is about taking chances and doing things the best you know how. Full Stop.
Btw, I guess it will really help if I don’t take everything I do so seriously and in giving *Good* a chance – perhaps it’s better to do so more often than not, wise or unwise, for better or worse.

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . Which to do when (?), give me divine wisdom, dear God.

My Best Vs The Acclaimed Best

I along with others have been putting my effort into this something for awhile. Turns out however that we missed this tiny detail and yes, that detail was important and could have been avoided if we were a little more careful.
So we get told off! And sadly all the efforts put into it was not acclaimed as it should have been.

I guess it’s more or less a cliché circumstance in life.

So what do I do? Well, I get all upset, all unhappy and blame myself for being such a careless klutz, such a dunce, such a . . . All the while missing one tiny detail (again) - I’ve put in ‘My Best Efforts’.
Yes, it ain’t good enough but I believe it is reason to rejoice. Don’t you think so?

My best may not be, or may even never be the acclaimed best but all the same knowing I’m doing the best I can matters more, much more than the acclamation.

So Hey! I choose to be happy after all! :-)

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . Guess you are looking beyond the situation into my reaction. You know something you are right. That’s what matters more.

Finding the Best in the Worst

Things turned out all awfully wrong today, in something I am working with a team on. One after the other things began to fall apart and it was one of the longest and hardest days we have faced together. Just felt like the ‘worst’ had happened.

I'd rather not elaborate.

But through it all I have discovered something – It is in the ‘Worst’ circumstances do I discover the ‘Best’ both in myself and those around me.

It's true. It’s almost magical.

Just wanted to share!

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . Am grateful for it all. :-)

Ultimate Victory

Imagine . . .

I was amongst those witnessing the crucification of Jesus on that dark day.

There were a mob of people - tough looking men shouting harsh words, women crying and children running hither and thither. All their attention was on one man called 'The King of the Jews'.

I had been eagerly anticipating the coming King, waiting year after year for His reign and longing for the power of the promised messiah to be displayed among us like in the days of Moses. All the signs and miracles He had performed caused me to believe that Jesus was indeed the Messiah. I had come to love and adore Him.

Seeing Him being nailed to the cross now, however made me feel like a fool. My hopes were crushed. The person on whom we, I had pinned my expectations to change history forever had failed me miserably. The Man, who performed so many amazing signs and wonders in His lifetime, now refused to perform a miracle, and accepted his fate like a lamb.

All I could feel was defeat, darkness and a depression. And it lasted three loooooong days.

At the end of it however there broke a Son-Light like none other before or none other since. It made it all worth while.

I did not know back then that the plan of God was unveiling right there, in the midst of all of the confusion, agony and uproar. Apparent and utter defeat was all I could see; the world could see. But ultimate victory was His plan; His word.

I look at the cross and realize that sometimes God’s ways of working is contrary to what we think or expect. But as I keep flowing along I know I will be amazed as the days unfold.

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . in eager anticipation of what is to come!

A Beautiful World

I spend most of my waking hours in the center of a bustling city, surrounded by high raised building, in air conditioned rooms. End result: I hardly get to see the sky or any greenery for that matter. :-(

But today was different! I spent the day from dawn to dusk around my home in the suburbs drinking in all that surrounded me. It was a cool day and the sights and sounds, simple everyday ones mind you – just seemed *so* special. I watered the plants around out house, did little chores such like and all the while there seemed so much to take in - the flowers and their colors, the leaves and their shapes, the little butterflies swarming over the lush grass, the cool breeze from the sea side that felt like a wet kiss, the trees swaying in a dance of their own, and oh! I even spotted one little bird I have never seen before . . . :-)
Gosh! I just couldn’t stop myself from saying WOW over and over again!

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . Wow! All nature declares of your beauty and if only I pay more attention I would be deafened by their sound of praise.

Have you ever met a Turtle?

The turtle is one of those timid creatures with a big, hard shell to shelter her from predators, weather changes and just about anything.

Yeah, the turtle often seems all set to slip into her shell, if ever she senses any danger or an uncomfortable situation nearing her or even at the slightest perception of what could be a threat.

She is comfortable with her own slow speed and slow ways and is thoughtful about everything and anything. She is not exactly adventurous and hardly tries out something that involves a bit of risk. She prefers to slide into her hard shell and pretend there is nothing wrong rather than facing something atypical.

Sounds, familiar?
A turtle is one who will change the subject if confronted about something, or say nothing at all, or jus accommodate with everything and anything to avoid a conflict or ignore things and hope they will disappear... silence perhaps is her safest defense mechanism.

In all fairness, it is her way of protecting herself and pretty effective too!
If you are wondering how I know so much about the turtle, it’s b’coz I see one every time I look into the mirror! ;-)

While the turtle remains in the confines of her protective shell, she misses out on being part of the lives (life) around her. Lives that she could have been enriched by and she could have helped enrich by just being rather than hiding. Now that’s something this turtle needs to remember!

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . Sometimes I feel I’m the wrong person at the wrong place but help me to remember I was put Here, Now for such a time as This, by You.

Dying without Doing

What’s that one thing that I would not want to die without doing?
Just felt like asking myself that question.
Hmmm...

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . Lets rephrase: What’s that one thing that you would not want me to die without doing? :-)

Loosing Your Life and Finding Yourself

I was given a gift of a video called “Mama Heidi” recently by a good friend who recommended it as a Must-See. It’s a documentary of a Lady called Heidi who along with her husband moved to the Mozambique on hearing about the condition there after the Civil War ended. The conditions there were worsening and even the Red Cross trucks where not safe. But Heidi and her husband, decided to go there and work with the poor. They adopted a dilapidated orphanage and began caring for and serving the most forgotten children on the streets.

It’s a story that moves you to tears and leaves you amazed at the fact that this one woman has made a difference in so many, many young lives. As she talks about her experiences, her eyes radiate with a special joy and hope. It’s hard to describe.

Moving to the Mozambique meant a lot of sacrifices to this family. They have lost their dreams, hopes, desires, comfort and a lot more and traded it for a life lived in a hot sweaty, mosquito infested part of the world where often their lives are threatened at gun point. You need to be willing to loose your life to find it, she says. And these words have been playing in my mind ever since.

Sometimes we need to loose everything that means anything to us in order to find anything that means everything to us. Loosing your life and finding yourself I call it and I can’t help but think that what I find in the process will far outweigh what I loose.

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . May my life be one such story.

My brother(?)

Recently I was reading a true story about an X and Y, whose names had not been revealed. Y was very mean to X and did some horrible things to X. As I was talking about this with a friend, my friend said “I wonder who Y is? If only I knew who Y was, I would have . . . (lets not mention the rest)”.In my heart I was in full agreement. Yeah… that’s exactly what I’d have done too given the opportunity!

Later the question came back to me . . . “I wonder who Y is?” And then suddenly I heard the answer in my heart so clearly - “Your brother!”
(??) I couldn’t accept that, given the nature of the story. But thinking about it I realized that it was true. In a strange way we are all “brothers’ n sisters” and yet I could never quite come to terms with being accepting of such a person. The thought itself was a little abhorring.

You know all those battles we fight in the name of religion or race or colour or creed - it just seems such a crime. But you know what's a bigger crime? Practicing those very thoughts in my own silent way, in my own little world, no matter how I may justify it.

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . My brother, you say - I wish I could really see people the way you do.

The Cacti

Recently we had a new addition to the family of plants who live in our garden. This one looked much worse off than many others when they came in.
It's a thorny Cacti with its leaves all broken, obviously by passers by who where scraped by it perhaps. It looked tough and wild and probably has not seen water for a long time.

But it was taken into this garden with much pleasure and delight. Of all the plants that are treasured in the garden this one took a special position. It is loved by the keeper of the garden, my mum and cherished. Every bit of it - the thorns, the broken leaves, it is all accepted and admired!

Many a time when I walk through the garden I wonder what the keeper finds in these very plants that in my opinion are quite a nuisance and really are not very beautiful. I don’t understand it. I just have to take the words of the keeper when she says they are her prized possessions and that by the way she says every single day.
Hats off to her! :-)

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . I am grateful that you are my keeper.

What do you see?

In black you can read the word Good, while in white you can read the word Evil ! (inside each black letter is a white letter)

I guess it visualizes the concept that good can't exist without evil.
What say?

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . I guess it’s the ‘evil’ in me that keeps the good growing within me. Stronger or weaker, is a choice I make!

Fun - Define it !

It's the weekend (finally) and the most common question I ask my friends is "So, what you doing this weekend?” And after a lil tête-à-tête on that we usually wind up with an "Okay... Have fun!”

Was going through one of those rituals when A, a friend of mine was describing A’s weekend plans, in other words what was *fun* for A when another friend B cut in claiming that A had no idea what fun was simply because the way B had *fun* was a whole lot different!

It was amusing but I could relate. It’s *fun*ny how sometimes 'My' way of defining/ having fun (or anything for that matter) can be *so* different from another’s. Like for some it’s fun to hang out in a mall while for others it’s sitting in the attic wrapped up in a book, for some it’s dabbling in fine arts and for some it’s climbing rocks...

And yet when I meet someone with entirely different tastes I either discredit them on the basis of that difference or I at times wish I *could* do that too, even if it isn’t my definition of fun, not quite realizing that.

What matters though I suppose is being able to both accept myself and others for our differences whatever they may be . . . after all the world will be too boring a place if we were all alike.

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . Wonder how you would define fun. (???)

It wasn’t for nothing

I offered to drop one of my friends at the bus stop today. It’s on my way home and so she agreed quite happily. We had hardly driven a mile when my vehicle began to give us some trouble. It just suddenly went dead. This has almost never happened before and I was a little puzzled. We struggled for awhile trying to get it started and then again, just as suddenly it roared back to life and we where on our way! We made it to the Bus Stop in the nick of time and she boarded the bus.

Driving back home, wondering about the strange way my vehicle gave trouble, it just dawned on me that It wasn’t for nothing. A little earlier or later and we could have headed in another direction as she was unsure of which bus she would be taking and so we would have missed the bus completely. It was perfect timing.
And must add, was made possible because of the struggle with my vehicle!

I was not too happy about the trouble with the vehicle, it even briefly gave me signs of life and went dead again causing me to despair. I really could not *see* how any good could come out of it but good did come of it.

It’s the same in life too. That tear, that weary work, or that lost dream, that hidden hope, or that risk I took that went badly wrong or that friend who hurt me or simply that dull day. . . Whatever it is - It wasn’t for nothing. I don’t think God allows anything for nothing. Instead he works in it *all*, and I mean *all*, to bring about something beautiful in me and through me.

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . Perhaps it’s the tests and tough times that I want to forget and would rather not experience that really keep me on track and make me a tool of blessing.

Taking a break

Since my last post, something went seriously wrong with my PC and I found myself disconnected from the world. It’s taken me an unreasonably long time to get things together again but I couldn’t help it.

I’m so glad to be able to sit back in my chair again and get things done with a couple of clicks. We are a spoiled lot! :-)

I think I’ve got so used to reflecting and writing, it felt weird not to be posting for awhile. But then again taking a break is nice in its own way too. Somehow you value things more when you are not doing/ having them than when you do.

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . So glad to be doing just this. Wish I did all I do, like so.