New Baby and New Home

Hmm... where do I start? This has been an ongoing battle within my heart and I find it so hard to confess... I just feel guilty.

 

We moved into our new home soon after the birth of out little one. Like any lady, this is our first home and I was so excited. All year round as we waited for the home to be constructed I saved pictures and ideas for designing the interior of the house to make it home.

 

Well, a new little one changes a lot of things...It means waking up tired every morning, napping whenever you get a chance, doing one chore a day and being so proud of oneself, a good meal and a clean house is the biggest achievement... what about all the decorating plans and projects?

 

Well, that's just it... I wish I had time to customize and hang paintings, print favourite photographs and have them hung up, organize shelves more neatly, spring clean etc etc and sometimes I am frustrated that my house does not feel as much a personalized home as I would like...

 

But then I remember its my first year with my son....looking back I don't think these projects will mean as much to me but at the moment I feel at times like a failure if I cannot do both.

My hubby darling tries to help but I guess most days we both are overwhelmed...

 

Seasoned moms perhaps have suggestions for me...and yes I try my own little ways to keep up with both but many a day I just have to settle and leave things undone with a smile knowing tomorrow is always there.

 

Perhaps all this is just teaching me to Lean and Trust the Lord more, for he gives rest to the weary soul.

 

Dear Mister God, this is @ina... Lord, give rest to my anxious soul. May my failures make me lean into you more.

 

I Just Want To Be Where You Are

One of my favourite songs used to be I Just Want To Be Where You Are by Don Moen. I would sing this song with great devotion to the Lord.

 

Recently the song has come to have a whole new depth and meaning to it for me....You see, my little one really demonstrates what those words mean. He really, Just Wants To Be Where I Am. He is happy playing by himself and doing things as long as he can see me and knows I am near. If I were to walk away, he watches for a bit and then before I know it there will be big crocodile tears rolling down his cheeks and cries as though I was gone for ages!

 

Wow....if only I could walk with the Lord that way!

 

Dear Mister God, this is @ina...May this be the cry of my heart - I Just Want To Be Where You Are,

 

 

Special Flowers

Ah! Dad and Baby went out for a walk and came back with a bunch of beautiful, bright, yellow Dandelions for Mom! :D BIG Smiles.

Thank You Dad and Baby!

I had to pen this out because it was such a special feeling to have Flowers from Dad and BABY for the very first time! When I babysit I love to take kids for a walk and ask them to pick flowers to give Mum...never thought one day I would be in the receiving end! 

Dear Mister God, this is @ina... Thank you for the simple, beautiful memories we create each day and the joy you give us in everyday life. 

Road Trip!

We were planning a nine hour road trip for a few days. I really wanted to go but was very double minded - would baby travel well? would he be too tired? would the change be too much? would he handle meeting so many new people? will he stay healthy?

 

I battled the pros and cons in my head, talked it over with grandma and frankly got overly stressed. Finally we decided to go and the night before we left, I put him to sleep and was trying to finish packing his things. As I finally switched off the lights in his play room, the little toy car shouted "Road Trip! Brooom... Broom" LOL

 

It felt like God was smiling down at me and saying, "Relax, its going to be okay".

 

Well, it was! He had a wonderful time. He took the travel well and just loved being out in the camp site... looked at trees closely, loved the grass... it was his first time out since the weather was warmer.

and yes, everyone loved him -  his sprakly eyes, big toothless smile (for the last time), sitting up by himself he enjoyed playing and watching other kids.  His first two little teeth were making their way out and yet he did not let it dampen his spirit too much.

 

I realized I was needlessly worried and should relax a little more. Grandma is wise and keeps reminding me to try new things and give him space. Easier said than done! :)

 

Dear Mister God, this is @ina...Thank you that you watch over your little ones and calm us even in our needless fears.

Sound of a Baby's Laughter

Today my baby laughed! Yes, he actually looked into my eyes, opened his toothless little mouth and laughed... its the  most musical sound i have heard in all the world. I was of course just being silly and he was responding with a laugh. :)

Ahhh! words can hardly express how full and delighted I felt. That first laugh. The first time he looked into my eyes and smiled with a laugh! It felt monumental! A cause for celebration.

I had no idea my babys laughter could make me so excited. Thank you Lord, for a baby who laughs back at me I said and danced in joy.

Dear Mister God, this is @ina...May his laughter fill our hearts and house and may he bring Joy and laughter to your heart, all the days of His life, O Lord.

Your Mercy and Faithfulness

We began this New Year with some good friends. It was an evening of food, fun and fellowship. Our friend shared a nice thought with us and I definitely want to blog it!

Psalms 92:2 says, to proclaim your mercy in the morning and your faithfulness at night. We talked about how it would be a good practice to everyday put forth to the Lord in the morning one area in our life where we need his mercy, his grace, his love to carry us through and at night remember one area where we saw his faithfulness and be thankful for it.

It's a powerful thought come to think of it - I wake up and always find the need for His mercy in my life and I find the minute I take things to him his grace abounds. Likewise its so easy to forget his faithfulness by the end of the day and yet when I make a conscious effort to meditate on it, my heart overflows with thankfulness.

As the New Year dawns, I am challenging myself to proclaim His mercy in the morning and His faithfulness at night.

To all my blog friends, Wishing you a Blessed New Year!

Dear Mister God, this is @ina... Thank you for your mercy and your faithfulness in the year past and the year to come.

The Birth of our Son

What can I say? Nov 9th, at 5:26 pm, the doctor placed this beautiful little baby, on my chest. I squealed in excitement. Nothing can prepare you for the moment you see your first child. I am not sure what i expected but i could not believe my eyes when I saw this perfect little person, with tiny hands and feet and a remarkable little face. His eyes were opened and he looked up at me hearing me squeal.

It was amazing and took a while to sink in that he is mine! The day we were to leave the hospital, thats when I felt my knees fall to the ground and my eyes fill with tears of thankfulness that God would trust me with such a precious little bundle. He is mine to cherish and nurture. He is given by God that we may learn and enjoy the meaning and fullness of love.

I am reminded of the song...

How sweet to hold a newborn baby
And feel the pride and joy He gives
But greater still the calm assurance
This child can face uncertain day, because He lives

Dear Mister God, this is @ina...May he know you and love you and serve you all the days of His life.  

An Immigrant

I find that being an immigrant is exciting and challenging. Exciting, because of all that's new and challenging for the same reason. I guess as the excitement wears out with time and then the challenges see a little bigger... I have been blessed with friends who are helping me with the journey and a husband who is always there for me to lean on.

I recently met this lady who was an immigrant and as I watched her talk about herself I learnt something very important - she had a sense of humour about herself. She laughed at all the things she found so odd and took her mistakes lightly. She connected instantly with the young people she was talking to simply by being humble about herself and her experiences.

Everything is a learning experience in a new culture - keeping a sense of humour and taking yourself lightly helps in any place but i think is absolutely essential to get through the intial years of being in a new place. Simple things like driving, talking to people, entertaining that I could do with ease at home seems more stressful in a new place. But with a healthy dose of humour, Lifes journey is full of good memories!

Dear Mister God, this is @ina... Help me to take the very things that upset me and find a way to laugh about them and myself!

Waiting

Why do we hate to wait? I guess its because we recognize that things are out of our control and that can be frustrating. It takes awhile to come to the recognition of that fact - emotions are generally up and down, we try to take control in more than one way and then when everything fails we come to a point of surrender.

Maybe thats why God purposed waiting. It has a way of bringing us to acknowleding how frail we are as humans and how much we need Him and with that recognition the dusk turns into dawn as we are slowly able to take our eyes off ourselves and see our lives from His point of view rather than our own. Deep down we know that we will rather have His way than our own.

As a young couple we had to wait miles and miles apart from each other where days for one where nights for the other, indefinitely till we could get my immigration done after our wedding.

I look back now and we are so grateful for that time - though it was long, dissappoiting at times, and many a time felt endless God had a purpose and a plan. At every low He was there, at every turn He held our hands, at every breaking moment, He lifted us up again - He filled us with peace where there was pain, with joy when there was sadness, wiped away every tear with hope, helped us see purpose in every uneventful day of waiting and filled us with divine promises for the future.

Well the waiting is over and as I fly to my home away from home - I look forward with joy and look back thankful for the time with family and friends.

Dear Mister God this is @ina... Waiting though hard turned out to be exciting in You, sitting at Your feet, hearing, listening, discovering each day had something new and of eternal value. Thank you.

No Holidays

I have the greatest respect for this person. She wakes up early in the morning and begins her day with God. She makes tea even before the rest of the crew wake up. She greets each one with cheer and takes care of all the mundane tasks to get each person out of the house to their respective destinations and also manages to care for the house. Her day never ends early and she seems to always have a zillion things to do until everyone is at bed. She finally makes her way to bed too.

What amazes me more is she is the reason for cheerfulness at home. If she is upset, everyone feels down and so she does her best to be happy rain or shine, storm or calm, good days or bad days. I have come to appreciate her ability to smile on a sad day, dance on any given day, stay lively even when those around are moody, be calm when no one else is and when everything falls apart, still bounces back to being herself and doing all that she does, like it or not - for US!

Yes, you guessed it, its my Mum.  Physical, emotional, spiritual challenges often come our way and sometimes for extended periods but she never takes a holiday. She is there for us, always. I love you Mum for all that you are. You are Incredible!

Dear Mister God this is @ina... Grant me the grace to be a joyful home maker dear Lord.  

The Power of Love

I have been following this series on TV called "Parenthood" which is about the lives of one big family and the everyday life and struggles in each of their lives.

It includes the story of a brother and sister living with their mother and grandparents. The father comes in town and visits them after what seems a long while. The father and a daughter, have a verbal war and the father who was in town visiting leaves. She apologizes to her brother who longs for a relationship with his father at which point he says "If he was a real father, nothing you could ever do could make him leave"

And that's true! In a real relationship there are hardships and hurts but nothing a person can do can make us leave when we choose the way of love. (Unless of course it is an abusive relationship.) The power of love is being there for a person through thick and thin, joy and pain and so the wedding vows resound "I take thee to have and to hold, from this day forward for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, (and all that life brings in between) to love and to cherish 'till death do us part."

My Darling, I may not be a lot of things, but I will be there for you, always.

Dear Mister God this is @ina...Enable us to be there for every isolated stranger who you have put on our paths and to know that you are always, always there for us.

The Seed

My mum and me watched the movie Inception. I just happened to see it repeatedly though I am not someone who generally watches a movie a second time unless its a romantic comedy!

What amazes me is how they so accurately portray how a thought is like a seed and can change the course of a persons life. I have been playing with this concept that a thought can change my life and found it so true. If someone should suggest something to me, or if my own thoughts choose to meditate on a subject almost immediately it affects my mood, my words, my actions and my attitude. When I focus on positive thoughts my whole being is more positive and the minute I allow something negative like bitterness, self-pity or hurt  into my thoughts it has a negative effect on my being, my life, the way I am with my family around me and invariably my present and my future.

Thoughts, opinions of people, what we choose to read, what we see and hear all of these things are in some ways like seeds planted in our minds which slowly but surely begin to grow and blossom. My mum is a great gardener and I watch her patiently examine her plants everyday while watering them to ensure there are no weeds, bugs or diseases spreading. If she finds her plants being harmed in anyway she takes the required action and the sooner found the easier it is to root them out. Well, its an awesome lesson that is teaching me to allow the loving eyes of the Holy Spirit to examine my mind and my heart moment by moment to take away the seeds of thoughts that are weeds so that the fruits of love deposited in my soul can take deeper root and flourish.

Dear Mister God this is @ina... Thank you for filling my inmost soul with living water, with abundance of peace, joy, and love and may it flow through my life.

A Great Friendship

I am not someone who has a lot of friends but I have few who are not just good but great friends. Lets call this friend May, because we met in May! :)

May and I became friends the moment we met. Its not always like that but then there are those few people who you meet and feel like you must have known them all your life - well, she was one. We had some great times together and as life would have it in a few months had to each move far away from each other. We both got married a few months apart and there were lots of circumstances for us to let our friendship fall apart. But it dint and she had some words of wisdom to share with me that I feel the world should know....I hope you don't mind May!

"...Small small misunderstandings come and go...but as it is said in good relationship friendship or love or any family bonding, it is not necessary that there should not be any misunderstanding what is important is how soon we forget the bad phase and bounce back to normal..."

We are all people who many times even despite best efforts hurt, fail and tend to take each other for granted after awhile. Good friendships last while the going is good but what sets apart great friendships is that they last past both the good and bad phases.

Dear Mister God this is @ina... Thank you for the Good and Great friendships that help shape us into better people. The Greatest of friendships is found in You and help us to hold on to You so in turn we can be Great friends to others.

The Magnanimous Eagle

The sun was setting and I stood on my rooftop enjoying every last glimpse of the beautiful orange globe disappearing in the now blue and purple sky. An eagle was soaring above my head and he landed on the house near ours. He was being chased by black crows who looked small next to him.

This is a common practice of the crows and am not sure why but they love to harass the eagle. One flew just above his head almost trying to cause him to duck his head but he just stood still. Another sat nearby cawing loudly. Yet another flew around him in an agitated manner. Through it all he stayed calm and peaceful. As the sky turned a little darker the tiny menaces finally gave up and flew home while the eagle continued to enjoy the view till he decided to soar up, up, up and away!

The eagle reminded me so much about what God says about having a calm and peaceful spirit. At times thoughts, situations or people can keep us agitated, annoyed or frustrated.

The eagle however is gifted with the strength, grace and ability to soar above them. He chooses to be magnanimous despite their menace and remains calm in trouble, knowing who God made him to be. Wow!

Dear Mister God this is @ina... Life is not always easy but grant me a calm and peaceful spirit that brings you delight! :)