Monday, November 01, 2010

Sharing My Story

Lately I have been interested in asking people their story. I have found there is so much to learn and share in knowing a persons story and it is important to share your own. I believe every life story is written with the purpose of being a blessing to others and so in sharing our story we help shape each other.

Well here is mine, I am trying to be as crisp as I possible can - My journey of finding purpose in life started a long time ago when I was just a child. I always felt God within me and was convinced on the need to live a life pleasing to God. From a very young age i would work very hard at being a good person because i felt that is the way to please God. I spent the first decade or more of my life trying so hard to be perfect. I have diaries recording all my actions. LOL! I spared no energy or effort to become perfect!

It was from there that God gently picked me up and began showing me slowly that all my so called Goodness was worth nothing. That he loved me no matter what and that what I do, did not matter as much as knowing He loved me. Grace was something I fought against for awhile and it was not easy accepting God loved me just the way I am. The first milestone in my journey was knowing God loves me wholly.

I spoke to God all the time but was always slightly doubtful if I was talking to myself and was very concerned. So one day, I sat in a corner of the house and said to God "I need to Know TODAY if it is really you speaking to me or someone else...I heard Him say "Here am I". I laughed hard to myself. I told myself God cannot say Here am I!! Convinced that the voice I was talking to was not His I laughed loud and took my Bible to read and decided like normal people, God should speak to me through the Bible. Here is what I read - Isaiah 65:1 (NIV) (“I revealed myself to those who did not ask for me; I was found by those who did not seek me. To a nation that did not call on my name, I said, ‘Here am I, here am I.") I fell on my knees and was overjoyed to know my God was not just a loving God but a God who constantly speaks to me and lives in me.

From then began a new journey of falling in love with God... Slowly as he became part of everything I did, I discovered a friend, a shepherd, an exciting God, a funny God, a smart God, a God who was interested in the minute details of my life and revealed himself to me. I just fell day after day over and over in love with Him. We talked non-stop somedays and somedays I did forget to include him but would run back into his arms. I had to depend on him so completely to please Him as I realized I am incapable of any good without him.

Like every love story there came some trials and hard times that made me doubt if all I had come to know of God was true. For a period of time I walked away from my dearest friend and tried to only lean on Him when I need him instead of enjoying every bit of life with Him but he has been slowly drawing me back to Him.

So after spending a decade or more trying to be perfect and please god and failing miserably, I spent the last decade or more learning God can fill everything in my everyday transforming me if I only let Him!

Dear Mister God this is @ina... Looking forward to the next decade (or more) of dwelling with you.

1 comment:

Longineswatch said...
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