Reminiscing

I love to spend the last few days of the year reminiscing about the year gone by while I nurture new hopes for the New Year. As I write this post my heart is filled with awe and thankfulness.

I have grown, matured, learned a little more about myself and a lot more about God. Most of all it will always remain the year I met my handsome, admirable and wonderful husband. A man who I have come to love, respect and adore with all that is within me.

As I look through this year the one thing that stands our for me are the many million tiny prayers, hopes, desires and needs that have been met by God through His wonderful, peaceful, comforting and glorious presence. There are things I wished I dint have to go through but looking back I know the Lord has enabled me to grow in strength and has meant it all for good!

Wishing all of you out there a wonderful year ahead! May each new day bring with it the strength, joy and laughter needed and may there be many surprises awaiting you along the way.

Dear Mister God this is @ina... Thank You for You and every blessing from you.

The Mushrooms

We have had some heavy rain for the last few days. Its been so hot this summer that the rains are so welcome. I have spent hours sitting out at our front porch enjoying the sound, smell and sight of rain. My mum loves gardening and we have a lot of plants around our house. I love the way they all look like they have had a bath! :)

I noticed something unusal though... There were mushrooms sprouting all over the place. They just seemed to magicaly appear when the season is just right for them. Sometimes we dont see it but when the season is it right something new and beautiful surfaces and we wonder hey! where did that come from?

I realized that in the garden of life or the garden of marriage, some fruits and flowers need to be cultivated, cared for and nutured in order to grow to its fullest potential. At other times through the course of everyday life there are seeds deposited in our garden that we may not see but in due season bring new fruits in our lives.

Dear Mister Gid this is @ina... Help me to remember in everyday You are doing a Good work in me, even when I dont always see it.

Simple ways to Love

My dad loves the Wednesday Newspaper. It has a page on Cars and he never misses it. It's the first thing he looks at on Wednesdays and it keeps him analyzing cars and their maintenance week after week. There are however times when he is away from home for a month or a couple of weeks in a row and recently i came to know that mum always saves the paper on the cars for him. The day he comes back he has a stash of the articles that have been printed for him to catch up on! :)

Mum on the other hand has never had to ever look at the gas gauge on her vehicle. It is always wiped, tank is filled, tires checked...what else I dont know but maintained at top condition come what may rain or sunshine. :)

With 30 years of life together they have found their own ways of showing they care and simple ways to say "I love you and want to make your life comfortable and enjoyable". Ah! Just thinking about that made me smile.

Dear Mister God this is @ina... May we always find ways, make the time and go out of the way to do simple things for each other! :)

The Want-to and Need-to

I have been realizing that there are generally speaking two buckets of to-do's in our everyday lists. There are things we want to do - these are things we like, desire, enjoy, feel good about etc. Then there are the things we need to do - these are things we know is the right thing to do, or must do or feel obligated to do, or know it makes someone else happy if we do, or just make it a rule for ourselves that it has to be done.

What I am learning is that every time we do something we need-to, with an attitude or a emotion that says "I am doing this because I need to and not because I want to" It shows! Specially in relationships... So say I do something 'nice' for my husband but in my heart am thinking 'need to' it sucks the joy out of the deed that was supposed to be special. And the funny thing is even a child knows when someone is doing something because they need to...it shows! I figure that if we choose to do something we may as well enjoy it and make sure everyone does! Right?

Want-to is an attitude we develop towards all things. Its not just based on a feeling. We need to look at our need-to buckets everyday whatever it is - calling someone, dirty dishes, laundry, going out of the way for someone... and choose to tell ourselves consciously that we are going to do it as something we want-to and enjoy it! :)

Dear Mister God, this is @ina... Freedom in you is knowing we have the ability to do all that you have called us to do with ease. Help us to grow into the fullness of your freedom.

Loving Deeply

Extracts from a teaching I heard on Loving deeply...

Love deeply because Love covers over a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8

Loving deeply means forgiving generously and responding possitively.

If you dont have a problem with someone, you dont have a relationship with someone.

Relationships, specially deep, commited relationships always leads to problems of all sorts. It is in these problems that we grow and mature. Choosing not to be in a relationship to keep away from problems is the easy way out. Choosing to love deeply anway is the right way forward.

Dear Mister God this is @ina... May we find the grace in you to love deeply.

Our Everydays

There are days when we will feel on top of the world

There are days when we will feel on a valley low

There are days when we will feel heavenly happiness

There are days when we will feel trapped in ourselves

There are days when we will have our time just being together

There are days when we will have time more for others

There are days when we will have many meaningful memories

There are days when we will have many normal moments shared

There are days when we will see how perfectly we complement each other

There are days when we will see the differences that we share

There are days when we will see beauty and hope in all things

There are days when we will see the darker side of life

There are days when we will fight against anything that comes between us

There are days when we will fight so we can see each others view point

There are days when we will fight relentless for the dreams we hold

There are days when we will fight and find some battles are not ours

There are days when we will find our love blossom and bloom unconditionally

There are days when we will find our love impatient, selfish or rude

There are days when we will find ourselves do crazy things for each other in love

There are days when we will find ourselves trying hard to keep up

But Together we will get over anything

And Together we will get through everything

Because Together we are more than conquerors in Christ

Called to celebrate everyday with a life of abundance abiding in Him.

Mister God this is @ina... Together we are discovering that we can do all things with You on our side! :)

My Best Friend

We met and in seven short days we had a wedding date

He took my breath away and sweeped me off my feet

With his kind eyes, big smile and warm embrace

And together we began a new chapter in life

Today, Its been seven months and everyday am discovering...



In his eyes, I see myself as beautiful

In his arms, I find myself at rest

In his strength, I can run for miles

In his confidence, I unlock hidden potential.



In his tenderness, I learn the true meaning of care

In his love, I find myself in the clouds

In his faith, I discover the beauty of life

In his humility, I see the meaning of great strength.



In his laughter, I feel complete

In his presence, I have great comfort

In his travels, I know I am within him

In his words, I am all that I am meant to be.



He is My best friend, my soul mate, the love of my life.



Dear Mister God this is @ina... May we be the best of friends everyday for as long as we live!

I Know you Love me!

I spent last evening with my niece, Steffane who is three. She is the happiest child I have ever met with constantly twinkling eyes, a bubbly spirit and a charm with both expressing and receiving love that makes her absolutely adorable! :)



Well, Chithi as I am called is on her favourite list and trust me I am humbled to be on it.



We went for a drive and I said to her "Steffane, Chithi Loves you". If you know Steffane, you will know that she is very dramatic about everything she says...her intonation, tone, volume, actions, reactions everything add up to make every sentence she speaks come alive. She replied "I know!" in a super confident, cool, matter of fact way. "oh but Chithi Loves you very very much" I continued. "I know, I know you like me!" she said again and somehow in that "i know" was a confidence that I loved her to the degree of being crazy about her.



My little nieces sister has the same confidence in Gods love for her. She knows him personally has a BIG God who made the universe for her and loves her very dearly.



It dawned on me that being secure in a relationship is like a cornerstone. It's not built overnight and takes time, effort and investment into each others lives but the benefits are phenomenal. There is nothing like the joy of having the cool confidence in a relationship to be able to say at any given time "I know you/he/she loves me".



Dear Mister God this is @ina... May we always be secure in our love for each other and your love for us.

340 days of Happiness

Last November I was driving to church and happened to listen to a radio program where a lady in her mid thirty's was being interviewed. She was single and the talk show was about single women. She talked about how she would often feel down but then told God, that she was going to make an effort to stay happy 340 days of the year. 15 days was her allowed lot to feel sad or sorry for herself, and these could be special days when she missed having a family more than on other days. She stays positive that God will bring someone into her life if it was meant to be but while she waits she decided to quit wailing.



She struck a cord in me. I was single then and made the decision myself that I was blessed in so many other ways and should refuse to allow myself to be unhappy about not having a family. Well, lately I have realized that single or married life has different challenges to throw at us constantly - A fiance waiting to be with the one she loves, a wife hoping to be a mother, a widow living in the shadow of the past, a mother lost in the memory of a child... the list is endless. And besides these there are everyday challenges that threaten out happiness even in what seems to be a perfect life.



Today, I decided that I was going to challenge myself and my husband to an oath of happiness in the Lord whatever comes our way 340 days of the year.



Dear Mister God, this is @ina... Give us wings of peace that rise above situations, a crown of happiness that renews our mind in you and a cloak of submission that strengthens our inner man.

God of Prayers Small and Big

My heart and spirit have been thrilled to bits this week as I have been finding God in so many answered prayers Small and Big. Just like he parted the Nile, he can make what seems to drown us a miraculous walk in one moment of surrender to God! :) What happens when we miss asking Him? We wallow in our own thoughts making mountains seem bigger and valleys seem deeper than they really are.



Anyway this week just felt like God was giving me a BIG bear hug by answering small prayers like giving my husband affirmation at work, the ability to enjoy work, the strength to deal with some other things etc etc... If he would listen to every such small prayer, passing thought, desire then how much more does he know our biggest needs. Sometimes we hurt so much when our needs are not met but if he should deny them it must be for a darn good reason! I have seen a multitude of small prayers answered over the last few months yet one Big one denied... Through it am learning to trust in my maker who sees the whole picture not just the next few days, months or even years of our lives and is the master artist of the tapestry of our lives.



Dear Mister God this is @ina...Thank you for sending me a bouquet of flowers when I only asked for a rose! :)

Waiting in Love

I have always found the Bible passage about Jacob working for Laban for 7 years waiting to marry Rachel quite intriguing. It reads, "Jacob serve Laban for 7 years to get Rachel, but they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her".

I always have felt that waiting in Love is harder and 7 years would perhaps feel like a lifetime when someone is so in love with a person... What made those years fly by for Jacob? I imagine Jacob woke up everyday hoping to get a glimpse of his beloved and when he did perhaps was so content in the moments he shared with her that the day passed by and the days became years till it was time for him to marry her. He was perhaps so lost in his love for her that he lost track of time and focusing on the goal endured the hard labour without pay not just willingly but happily.

God had a great plan for this man and in all those years of struggle developed in him a restful trust in God, confidence in His promises for his future, wisdom to wait on God even in difficult circumstances and a faith that made him the father of the twelve tribes of Israel. God fittingly names him Israel - The one who has struggled with God and Man and won.

Dear Mister God, this is @ina... May the months before us pass by like a few moments.

Supportive Vs Challenging

While watching a comedy on TV today I came across a comparison between two types of couples - One the wife is always supportive of the husband and in another the girlfriend is always challenging the boyfriend on various grounds like views on work, life, relationship. The boyfriend argues that being challenged helps them grow and bring out the best in eachother but agrees that support is vital and essential.

Got me thinking, we all value being supportive to our spouse very highly. I for one, would like to have an idealistic view and dream of being a perfectly supportive wife through just about everything. I am learning however that it is good to be open and welcoming to a challenge on views as well - Its what keeps us evolving and growing in maturity and love.

I think its important that on the core issues of life and in our outlook we need to be able to support each other strongly even at the cost of friction with family or friends. Between us though we could challenge each other to see things from each others perspective becuase Love I believe seeks to understand life from the other persons shoes and appreciate them for it!

Dear Mister God this is @ina. . . May we always bring out the best in eachother.

Love and Convenience

One of the things I am learning is that Love does not always go down the road of convenience or stick to norms of this is how i am or this is what i can do or cannot do. To love means to go out of the way for the other person, to love them they way they would like to be loved - be it spending more time doing things they like, or taking time to listen or extending warmth to others in the family... In simple words doing in love the things that we know will put a smile on their face whether we 'like' to, are 'able' to, 'qualified' to, have 'experience' to, (or any other excuse we can come up with ;)) to do it or not.

In a good marriage there is love and respect between the couples and a great deal of give and take. What separates a good marriage from a great marriage I think however is the ability to love beyond convenience consistently and go the extra mile for the other person even when it isn't easy with a smile. The difference is made in the simple everyday choices we make and not necessarily the big ones involving family or future or finances.

I think marriage has a lot of comfort in it, in the sense there is the security, calm and convenience that it brings into our lives however I am also challenging myself to look for ways to stretch myself, to grow, to experiment with new experiences and things that I hope will add joy and laughter to our life.

Dear Mister God this is @ina... May we have a great marriage! :)

The Love Tank

Gary Chapman, in his book The Five Languages Of Love talks about waking up every morning and imagining you have a Love Tank which tells you how loved you fell... He challenges that when we speak each others love languages our tanks are full and when we don't they run from half-full to empty depending on how loved we feel.

The concept of speaking each others love languages is something that makes a whole lot of difference I have come to understand... there is a deep bond that forms when you choose to love a person as they would like to be loved even when it is not convenient for ourselves. However the thought that our love tank needs to be filled daily and maintained by the ones we love I find a little daunting. It is true, but without Gods love which is the binding force filling our tanks would we be able to freely give or receive love in a way that the other person desires to be loved?

Love to me, is a choice we make, daily, to freely give of oneself to another. And without a relationship with God to help fill our tanks to full and overflowing, I would think it would be hard.

So Yes, even the shortest phone call from my love makes me light up like a city at night and I feel like my tank is all filled up again and then sometimes there are those days when anything from Gods creation a perfect rainbow to a child's smile can fill my tank back up again. Bottom line, Without God strengthening our inner man daily I doubt we could keep each others tank full and overflowing!

Dear Mister God this is @ina... May we walk with you daily, in all that we do.

The One I Belong To

Perhaps every one has a moment in life when you realize yes, this is the man or woman I want to be with the rest of my life and then sometime later there follows a moment when everything within you awakens to the fact that this is the person you belong to. Its a simple moment of knowing not just that he or she is the one for you but realizing that together we are one.

For me, that moment was shortly after our wedding one evening. We came to know that he would have to leave back to our home in another country without me and I would have to join a little later due to some other issues. That was not the way we had planned it and we were disappointed. I looked into his eyes and saw a sadness that broke my heart, it was only a day ago that I was so content seeing those same eyes dance with joy.

Words sometimes are meaningless at these moments and I lay on his shoulder and cried. He held me close and assured me by just being there listening, holding, sobbing with me within but being brave for me on the outside. I felt so much better and could smile again, I knew he was hurting but he choose to smile for me.

That was the moment when I understood what it meant to belong, what it meant to be one.

Dear Mister God this is @ina... Continue to bind us in love in one heart, one mind and one spirit. Amen.

A Three Part Harmony

As a young girl I loved to watch old British movies - the girls in their frilly frocks, the men in their multi-layered coats, the elaborate dinners, beautiful ballroom dances, and the couples who would go for long walks hand in hand... So when I think of a harmony, what comes to my mind is a room exquisitely decorated with a fire place, a pianist playing on a grand piano a melodious piece of music and a couple who dance to the tune in delight. They all seem to be in one accord, the pianist, the music and the dancers.

Well, marriage is a lot like ballroom dancing I think. Without God the creative musician, we just would not be able to dance... but with God, there is a harmony, a beauty that keeps us on one accord. You have to trust your partner to take the lead, you have to both keep pace with each other so you don't step on each others feet, you have to listen to the music and dance to the beat and as you watch a couple who have practice dancing together you can see that they almost anticipate each others next move, graciously they glide together like one entity around the room, enjoying being in each others arms and smiling knowing that together they are beautiful.

Mister God this is @ina... May we always dance to the tune of the Father, through the example of his Son and the guidance of the Holy Spirit God.

The End and the Beginning

I spent time on my roof top today thinking about an era of my life when I think life has been simple... Pleasing God was my one desire, loving my parents was all I could want, family and friends took me as I am and being good at my work was a blessing from above. Many an evening have I spent basking in a sunset or watching the birds or enjoying the wind or awed by the stars and silenced by the full moon. Its my God and me place where I sing, pour my heart out to him, dance, cry, laugh and just take life in. Over the last few years I have travelled a lot and the roof top has not been as much my secret place as it used to be but wherever I go I have managed to find that quiet place where my maker and I can just talk.

This era is coming to an end and its time for me to move out from my home so I can build a home of our own. Leaving the home I have called my own and the family I adore to go to a new place in a totally different timezone all together is not a very easy step but I am blessed with an able man, who I love, admire and respect, which makes this step seem a little easier to take than I thought it would be.

With every end I am realizing there is a new beginning and this may seem to be an end to an era of my life but love never ends and all that really matters are relationships in this era which I have no doubt will evolve and grow with many new surprises along with this new exciting beginning in my life.

Dear Mister God, this is @ina . . . With every end comes new beginnings, together help me to grow, evolve, build and blossom in all that is to come!

An (extra)ordinary Family

We have been having a couple of crazy weeks preparing for the big day... My wedding. Mum has been doing things for me and with me morning, noon and night, Dad has been out on the hot and dusty roads making preparations day after day and my brother keeps checking-in with all the love and support possible.

We are an ordinary family, mum and dad love us to bits, have always been there for us and given us the best of everything, most of all, their lives and their time. Mum has spent every waking hour thinking about us, providing for us, being there for us, and in general putting up with a lot of crap from us specially as we have grown up and at times tend to resent her unconditional love! Dad is the strong support every person wishes to have... he is always there cheering for us, rooting for us against all odds, and there to do for us what we cannot do for ourselves and most times also doing what we can do for ourselves. My brother, well he is the one who keeps us balanced & down to earth, rolling in laughter and comfort. He is not a man of many words, but his presence delights us all, makes me mischievous and makes dad and mum go up the wall at times but all in good spirit.

What makes our house, a home is my mums philosophy that Home is the one place you can be yourself and its okay. If you had a bad day, you can throw a temper and we will accept you for it because we are family. If you had a good day, we will throw a party and celebrate with you because we are family. Yes, we are an ordinary family, we love, we laugh, we cry, we complain, we fight, we stick for each other, we loose it at times but we always go the extra mile for the other person and that's what makes this an extraordinary family!

As the clock ticks and my wedding nears, I think about my family and all that's made us what we are and could wish nothing more than to carry with me what I have enjoyed and share my life with a new family that I hope will be able to love and accept me as I am.

Mister God this is @ina... Thank you for the blessing of an ordinary family with the love that makes my everyday life extraordinary.

The Ring

Recently engaged, I found my diamond ring a new addition on my hand a little uncomfortable. Its not that the ring isn't comfortable its just that something new on your finger feels a little different. I was telling my dad that and in his wise way he said he to me - "Remember that marriage is like that - not always comfortable but adds beauty to your life". A thought I know is worth remembering.

Today a few weeks later I found myself reminding myself to check if the ring is still on my finger. I have grown so comfortable with it in such a short while that I hardly realize its there. Its kind of where I am at, it sometimes feels like my would-be and I are so comfortable with each other that we may take each other for granted - "Remember to value the diamond in your life" I told myself because yes, he is one of a kind and worth much more than all the diamonds in the world.

Dear Mister God this is @ina... Hold me close to you, so I always cherish what you have given me to hold.

Changed My World Forever

My world has been changed forever
With the passing of seven brief days
Just has the world was made
Mine has been remade into something more beautiful

Day 1 was the day we met
With one big smile and one brief line I was swept
Day 2 rolled by in a hurry
With the joys and wonders of two families talking
Day 3 we found the perfect ring
That will announce to the world the missing rib that was found
Day 4 we exchange a few kind words
And before we knew it had fallen for eachother
Day 5 we started the day together with God
And ended it making our promise of love forever with family and friends
Day 6 was filled with God's surprises
A bike ride, a family lunch, playing games, just talking
Day 7 was meant to be the day of rest
When I found myself content for I had found what it means to be madly in love!

To my beloved,


Dear Mister God this is @ina... Everytime I close my eyes I thank you for my custom made gift from YOU. :)

A Convenient Life

This years first post is a little late. I have been wondering what I want to toast to this year, and there have been so many nice thoughts but not any that I wanted to blog about. However among my mentorship group we have been lately talking about "Living Convenient Lives" and its been something that has been on my mind a lot.

A convenient life - When "I" am in the center of my life and I do things that are comfortable for me to do. My mind is filled with thoughts about me, my family, my job and all that's mine! I am so caught up in fact that its hard to even notice anything beyond that. Oh but don't get me wrong, I do my part for the community making sure its something that fits into my life well and involves little trouble or effort.

Sounds familiar? Well I can relate soo much that its scary! There are a thousand reasons I could give to justifying everything about that statement but I want to challenge myself to think of something that's not convenient for me to do and do it at least once a week if not everyday.

So this years toast is to going beyond comfort zones and getting wet in the rain, dirty in the mud, scared but jumping out of the plane if that's what it takes to live not just a convenient life but a radical, passionate and creative life!

Dear Mister God this is @ina... A toast to walking with you into an uncharted course, willing to take risks and embracing living on the edge for you!