My Year End Post

An old friend called me today and we got talking about the year that has gone by. X was keen to know what I had been doing out of the normal this year… The extra curricular things, the adventures, the first timers, the new experiences, the things that I did despite the odds…

X really got me thinking and inspired!

Truth is this year has been adventurous and rewarding in many ways. I challenged myself to take up new experiences and my diary is dotted with things I did for the first time all through this year. Also, this time last year I know I was so worried about loosing friends whose companionship I enjoyed so much. One of the most memorable things about this year however has been learning to let go of some of the people I loved and finding I’m surrounded by people I have fallen in love with.

Looking back I can only smile. =)

Picking of where 2007 winds up here’s my toast to the New Year: May it be an extraordinary year – Lets not settle for the ordinary but go the extra mile to make it extraordinary in every way!

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . It’s been an amazing year filled with amazing people and shaped by an amazing God. Thank you!

A Window

Recently I moved to a new place at work. My desk is right between two French windows on the sixth floor.

I’ve been so excited! The light from the window is so much better than the artificial lights I am used to. Through the window I can see a garden at the center surrounded by a couple of other buildings that are still coming up. On a rainy day I can hear the pitter patter of the rain and the drops that settle on the window look so beautiful. It’s on the west and on a sunny day around 3 pm the warm rays of the sun bathe my place a golden shade. By 5 if it’s a clear sky I can see the fiery red ball bid me farewell as he slips away for a well earned nights rest and the sky turns dark red to black till I just have to wind up my work and leave for the day.

At times I sit on the window sill and chat with friends or simply take a break and stare out. It’s amazing how much pleasure this window gives me!

I guess there are something’s in life that no matter how many times you experience the feeling of awe remains – Like watching the sunrise or sunset, the moon and the stars, a rainbow, the sea, a fountain, flowers, the sky, street lights on a never ending road, streams, rocks, a laughing baby…

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . I am your spoilt child!

A Quiet Morning

Mum loves gardening and she uses logs, stones and shells to make pots that are beautifully decorated. Last evening she found a hollow piece of log on the beach that would make a beautiful pot but could not carry it home.

So this morning Mum and I woke up early and drove to the beach with our dog. It was a misty morning and we thought that we would probably not get to see the sun rise.

The beach was lonely and calm. The only sound we could hear was the gentle lapping of the waves on the shore. It was blissful. We walked a few yards before we came across the log that mom wanted. Sure enough it was a masterpiece, ravaged by the wind and the water yet perfectly suited for our purpose. We picked it up joyfully!

The sun was not yet out but a mass of clouds hovering over the horizon seemed to be hiding it. However as though just to delight us the loners on the beach the sun a perfectly round orange ball decided to slowly peek out in all its glory over the calm sea. A small fishing boat was right in the center of it and the clouds around it turned pink with a silver trimming. Spellbound we watched as the sun paraded for us. It was the most beautiful sun rise I have witnessed so far.

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . .Oooo!

Trying to define Love

This time of the season always makes me think of love. And like so many I try to define it, explain it or reason it. After meandering through many memories, thoughts, opinions I have heard and experiences I have had here is my latest perception…

Love appreciates the small things about you that others never care to notice and brings out the best in you so naturally. Love makes you *feel* beautiful without even realizing it!

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . I guess the real mirror is found in the eyes of those who love us.

The three boxes

My friend and I were having a conversation today that I really enjoyed. X has had a lot of changes over the last couple of months and is just settling down… making new friends, and learning how things work in the place X is in etc. One of the first hardest battles X is facing is knowing when to be yourself and when to tone down and be something your not just so that X does not stand out.

Know what I mean?

We all live in three boxes. Let’s call one True Colors, the second Others Voices and the third Projected Colors. One is our very own thinking box. Two is when we know our thinking box would not do so try to think through “everyone else’s” perspective. And three is who we are to the outside world.

The further one and three go the more uncomfortable we get. The closer one and three are the happier we tend to be with ourselves. But all this depends on box two. My friends question was box two cannot be ignored and may often help you be wise but sometimes can simply confuse you. So when do you listen to box two and when do you not?

Hmmm… Not a simple question. And I did not have the answer. All I could say was I knew that X was not the same person I knew and to be completely honest I missed the real X. Truth is X’s real self was not widely appreciated and I could understand the ups and downs that X was going through but given a choice I would fight to help X be all that box one demands X to be without a second thought.

All said and done, Do I live by box one afterall?

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . I’m sure your busy fighting for the same too in many lives including mine!

An Unexpected Response

I lost my cool yesterday and I was so upset about that. Thankfully I did not use words that I was not supposed to use but I still said things in a tone that I was not suppose to use.

I had a rather brilliant day which was dampened by this unexpected explosion of mine. The calm voice within me tried to tell me its okay but I just was not okay with me. I knew the situation could have been handled by motivating but I handled it by reprimanding. I felt it was too early to reprimand.

Today however I had decided to pep talk the people involved and make things better. I was sure that the damage had been done though and could see no way in which things could be better.

Why do I call this post - an unexpected response?

Well because of the three people involved one came up to me and said ‘Since yesterday you have become my role model!’

There is no conclusion to this post. Just a thought – The very action that I felt made me fall from being a role model actually made me one!

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . It’s not a parallel but reminds me of your principles – give to receive, loose to win, serve to lead, die to live.