Power

The word *power* tends to stir a sense of fear in my heart. It’s not a word I am very comfortable with especially when it concerns me…In the sense that, I’d rather not meddle with *power*.

Power gives one the ability to make decisions for others. It strengthens you to go where no one else dares to go. Power can drive you further than you are supposed to go. It can draw you into unexpected and unwarranted circumstances. Power can bring out the worst in you. It can make the most humble of beings loose perspective. Power can make you tough. It can make you blind to the obvious.

I was lost in such mid morning musings today. I realized that power is dangerous especially when it is given to you when you are not prepared to handle it. But I also realized something else. Power has another side to it - Potential.

The potential to make things better. To change things in a positive way. To make reality possibilities that could only be hoped and dreamed of by some others.

Power is a responsibility that often is entrusted to individuals after much debate. Some squander it, some misuse it, some do nothing with it and still others use it sparingly.

I’ve always wondered if power is something I desire in life. And I often wonder what I would do with it if it was mine.

I leave you with the same questions.

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . Grant me enough power to match my purposes for each day. Not too much nor too less.

Celebrating A Journey

It’s been two years as of today, since I began doing what I do.

I never thought I would be doing what I am doing. I had my heart set on a lot of different things and I pursued them for awhile but as things turned out this opportunity came knocking at my door and I kind of tumbled into it with much uncertainty.

Looking back the only words that keep playing over and over in my heart are - Thank you.

So to all of you who have been part of this journey with me in some way:

Thank you for the companionship. Thank you for the laughs. Thank you for the support. Thank you for the listening ear. Thank you for putting up with my eccentricity. Thank you for showing me better. Thank you for the helping hands.

Thank you for teaching me the value of the words ‘it’s okay’. Thank you for pushing me further. Thank you for giving me wings. Thank you for being there when I fell down. Thank you for picking me up and encouraging me to go on.

Thank you for the casual conversations, the earnest advice, the gentle warnings, the patient guidance and the constant motivation.

Thank you for the breaks, the lunches, the treats, the outings, the surprises, the mails, the messages, the calls and the many other little things that will stay in my heart a life time through.

Thank you for *You*.

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . Thank you for being there every moment of every day at my every beck and call. : )

A walk on the Beach

I live in a city with one of the longest coastlines in the world and have been fortunate to have always lived pretty close to the beach.

I have taken so many walks on the sea shore but just as the patterns that the clouds form in the sky can never be replicated, the shore line always has a different story to tell.

When there is a high tide the sea is wrestles and the coast is ravaged by the huge strong waves. It’s not a pretty picture and I prefer to stand and watch the sea at a safe distance. But when there is a low tide the sea is calm and friendly and it’s nice to take a walk on the shore.

Today was one of those low tide days and the coast was absolutely beautiful. For some reason the sea shore seemed broader than I have ever seen before. There were corals and shells of different colors and shapes strewn on the wet sand. The wild sea breeze was pleasant in the backdrop of the waves that seemed to be in fact lazing in the setting sun.

Mum and I walked on and on, and my dog followed us quite excited. It’s a walk that ended a rather memorable day with my family, mum & dad, my brother, my grandma and my aunts. : )

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . Am speechless, for once.

The Heart, The Head & The Connection

I was pleasantly surprised by X’s kindness and went out of the way to tell X how much X was appreciated for all X’s efforts. However later I wondered if I had crossed the line and said more than I should have while being appreciative and put X in a rather embarrassing position.

Hmmm… I find myself quite often in fixes like these.

You see my heart just has to tell people how much I like, enjoy, care and appreciate them. My mind however is more sensible and warns me of things that can be said and things that should not be said just incase it leaves me misunderstood or the person concerned in an awkward position to reciprocate the same in some way.

But the connection between the heart and the head is hard to make. And I find myself many a time swinging like a pendulum from one side to the other not knowing which one to listen to. Sometimes there's a sixth sense that tells me what I need to do. Sometimes there's a calm voice instructing me. Sometimes there's nothing at all. And these are times I am most confused.

What can be said and what not are split second decisions and so at the end of the day I find myself going over my day and wondering if I got it wrong or right. This time I must confess the peace in me was disturbed. So I probably did not get it right. I should have listened to the head and not the heart. Still, I can’t go back and do things differently so I just wish I had a better way of knowing.

As I sat pondering along these lines, I decided to just lay it down. I know this experience will help me judge better next time what needs to be said or done and that alone makes it all worthwhile.

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . It’s almost the break of dawn and as I still sit pondering over yesterdays spilt milk thank you for giving me a whole new day to start afresh.

World Peace

I was talking with a friend today who seemed quite distraught. We kept meandering from one topic to another but never actually quite got to what was on X mind. Seeing that X was not too comfortable I asked if there was anything on X mind that I could pray for. After a long pause X replied, yeah. You could pray for dash and everyone’s happiness!

Everyone’s happiness? LOL! That’s plain silly I thought to myself.

X I have known to be a person who is most often building castles in the air trying to find solutions that will make everyone happy and bring World Peace! As ridiculous as that cliché statement sounds a part of me wondered what if there was a possibility that we could indeed make everyone happy.

Out there is probably a young Miss Y who is in a messed up relationship of some kind and to pray for Y’s happiness means to pray that Y has the courage to move on, go through some pretty difficult times that would ultimately make Y happy. Then there’s Master Q who has found these bunch of buddies who seem ultra cool only until he finds a darker side to their seemingly harmless fun. Q now has some drug abuse problems and a lot of other things to deal with. To pray for Q’s happiness would mean to ask for Q to be sent to rehab, go through depressing times and then ultimately be free. Then there is posh Mrs. R who seems to have it all so easy but every night she cries herself to sleep because she does not find the joy she seeks in what she has. To pray for R would mean R would have to open up in pretty radical ways that can be nothing but painful times until she ultimately finds herself content. I could go on…

But the point is I realized that when I pray for someone’s happiness I am not necessarily praying for an immediate alteration in their circumstances that will lead to sudden happiness. Instead I pray into their lives circumstances that in some way ultimately work out for their happiness!

I guess it’s not all that silly after all to pray for everyone’s happiness. Plus when I pray for happiness I better be prepared to be broken, shaped and polished by life’s circumstances.

Still think we need to work towards World Peace?! ; )

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . Glad you are out there constantly doing all you can to make sure everyone’s happy!