The Heart, The Head & The Connection

I was pleasantly surprised by X’s kindness and went out of the way to tell X how much X was appreciated for all X’s efforts. However later I wondered if I had crossed the line and said more than I should have while being appreciative and put X in a rather embarrassing position.

Hmmm… I find myself quite often in fixes like these.

You see my heart just has to tell people how much I like, enjoy, care and appreciate them. My mind however is more sensible and warns me of things that can be said and things that should not be said just incase it leaves me misunderstood or the person concerned in an awkward position to reciprocate the same in some way.

But the connection between the heart and the head is hard to make. And I find myself many a time swinging like a pendulum from one side to the other not knowing which one to listen to. Sometimes there's a sixth sense that tells me what I need to do. Sometimes there's a calm voice instructing me. Sometimes there's nothing at all. And these are times I am most confused.

What can be said and what not are split second decisions and so at the end of the day I find myself going over my day and wondering if I got it wrong or right. This time I must confess the peace in me was disturbed. So I probably did not get it right. I should have listened to the head and not the heart. Still, I can’t go back and do things differently so I just wish I had a better way of knowing.

As I sat pondering along these lines, I decided to just lay it down. I know this experience will help me judge better next time what needs to be said or done and that alone makes it all worthwhile.

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . It’s almost the break of dawn and as I still sit pondering over yesterdays spilt milk thank you for giving me a whole new day to start afresh.