Supportive Vs Challenging

While watching a comedy on TV today I came across a comparison between two types of couples - One the wife is always supportive of the husband and in another the girlfriend is always challenging the boyfriend on various grounds like views on work, life, relationship. The boyfriend argues that being challenged helps them grow and bring out the best in eachother but agrees that support is vital and essential.

Got me thinking, we all value being supportive to our spouse very highly. I for one, would like to have an idealistic view and dream of being a perfectly supportive wife through just about everything. I am learning however that it is good to be open and welcoming to a challenge on views as well - Its what keeps us evolving and growing in maturity and love.

I think its important that on the core issues of life and in our outlook we need to be able to support each other strongly even at the cost of friction with family or friends. Between us though we could challenge each other to see things from each others perspective becuase Love I believe seeks to understand life from the other persons shoes and appreciate them for it!

Dear Mister God this is @ina. . . May we always bring out the best in eachother.

Love and Convenience

One of the things I am learning is that Love does not always go down the road of convenience or stick to norms of this is how i am or this is what i can do or cannot do. To love means to go out of the way for the other person, to love them they way they would like to be loved - be it spending more time doing things they like, or taking time to listen or extending warmth to others in the family... In simple words doing in love the things that we know will put a smile on their face whether we 'like' to, are 'able' to, 'qualified' to, have 'experience' to, (or any other excuse we can come up with ;)) to do it or not.

In a good marriage there is love and respect between the couples and a great deal of give and take. What separates a good marriage from a great marriage I think however is the ability to love beyond convenience consistently and go the extra mile for the other person even when it isn't easy with a smile. The difference is made in the simple everyday choices we make and not necessarily the big ones involving family or future or finances.

I think marriage has a lot of comfort in it, in the sense there is the security, calm and convenience that it brings into our lives however I am also challenging myself to look for ways to stretch myself, to grow, to experiment with new experiences and things that I hope will add joy and laughter to our life.

Dear Mister God this is @ina... May we have a great marriage! :)

The Love Tank

Gary Chapman, in his book The Five Languages Of Love talks about waking up every morning and imagining you have a Love Tank which tells you how loved you fell... He challenges that when we speak each others love languages our tanks are full and when we don't they run from half-full to empty depending on how loved we feel.

The concept of speaking each others love languages is something that makes a whole lot of difference I have come to understand... there is a deep bond that forms when you choose to love a person as they would like to be loved even when it is not convenient for ourselves. However the thought that our love tank needs to be filled daily and maintained by the ones we love I find a little daunting. It is true, but without Gods love which is the binding force filling our tanks would we be able to freely give or receive love in a way that the other person desires to be loved?

Love to me, is a choice we make, daily, to freely give of oneself to another. And without a relationship with God to help fill our tanks to full and overflowing, I would think it would be hard.

So Yes, even the shortest phone call from my love makes me light up like a city at night and I feel like my tank is all filled up again and then sometimes there are those days when anything from Gods creation a perfect rainbow to a child's smile can fill my tank back up again. Bottom line, Without God strengthening our inner man daily I doubt we could keep each others tank full and overflowing!

Dear Mister God this is @ina... May we walk with you daily, in all that we do.

The One I Belong To

Perhaps every one has a moment in life when you realize yes, this is the man or woman I want to be with the rest of my life and then sometime later there follows a moment when everything within you awakens to the fact that this is the person you belong to. Its a simple moment of knowing not just that he or she is the one for you but realizing that together we are one.

For me, that moment was shortly after our wedding one evening. We came to know that he would have to leave back to our home in another country without me and I would have to join a little later due to some other issues. That was not the way we had planned it and we were disappointed. I looked into his eyes and saw a sadness that broke my heart, it was only a day ago that I was so content seeing those same eyes dance with joy.

Words sometimes are meaningless at these moments and I lay on his shoulder and cried. He held me close and assured me by just being there listening, holding, sobbing with me within but being brave for me on the outside. I felt so much better and could smile again, I knew he was hurting but he choose to smile for me.

That was the moment when I understood what it meant to belong, what it meant to be one.

Dear Mister God this is @ina... Continue to bind us in love in one heart, one mind and one spirit. Amen.

A Three Part Harmony

As a young girl I loved to watch old British movies - the girls in their frilly frocks, the men in their multi-layered coats, the elaborate dinners, beautiful ballroom dances, and the couples who would go for long walks hand in hand... So when I think of a harmony, what comes to my mind is a room exquisitely decorated with a fire place, a pianist playing on a grand piano a melodious piece of music and a couple who dance to the tune in delight. They all seem to be in one accord, the pianist, the music and the dancers.

Well, marriage is a lot like ballroom dancing I think. Without God the creative musician, we just would not be able to dance... but with God, there is a harmony, a beauty that keeps us on one accord. You have to trust your partner to take the lead, you have to both keep pace with each other so you don't step on each others feet, you have to listen to the music and dance to the beat and as you watch a couple who have practice dancing together you can see that they almost anticipate each others next move, graciously they glide together like one entity around the room, enjoying being in each others arms and smiling knowing that together they are beautiful.

Mister God this is @ina... May we always dance to the tune of the Father, through the example of his Son and the guidance of the Holy Spirit God.

The End and the Beginning

I spent time on my roof top today thinking about an era of my life when I think life has been simple... Pleasing God was my one desire, loving my parents was all I could want, family and friends took me as I am and being good at my work was a blessing from above. Many an evening have I spent basking in a sunset or watching the birds or enjoying the wind or awed by the stars and silenced by the full moon. Its my God and me place where I sing, pour my heart out to him, dance, cry, laugh and just take life in. Over the last few years I have travelled a lot and the roof top has not been as much my secret place as it used to be but wherever I go I have managed to find that quiet place where my maker and I can just talk.

This era is coming to an end and its time for me to move out from my home so I can build a home of our own. Leaving the home I have called my own and the family I adore to go to a new place in a totally different timezone all together is not a very easy step but I am blessed with an able man, who I love, admire and respect, which makes this step seem a little easier to take than I thought it would be.

With every end I am realizing there is a new beginning and this may seem to be an end to an era of my life but love never ends and all that really matters are relationships in this era which I have no doubt will evolve and grow with many new surprises along with this new exciting beginning in my life.

Dear Mister God, this is @ina . . . With every end comes new beginnings, together help me to grow, evolve, build and blossom in all that is to come!

An (extra)ordinary Family

We have been having a couple of crazy weeks preparing for the big day... My wedding. Mum has been doing things for me and with me morning, noon and night, Dad has been out on the hot and dusty roads making preparations day after day and my brother keeps checking-in with all the love and support possible.

We are an ordinary family, mum and dad love us to bits, have always been there for us and given us the best of everything, most of all, their lives and their time. Mum has spent every waking hour thinking about us, providing for us, being there for us, and in general putting up with a lot of crap from us specially as we have grown up and at times tend to resent her unconditional love! Dad is the strong support every person wishes to have... he is always there cheering for us, rooting for us against all odds, and there to do for us what we cannot do for ourselves and most times also doing what we can do for ourselves. My brother, well he is the one who keeps us balanced & down to earth, rolling in laughter and comfort. He is not a man of many words, but his presence delights us all, makes me mischievous and makes dad and mum go up the wall at times but all in good spirit.

What makes our house, a home is my mums philosophy that Home is the one place you can be yourself and its okay. If you had a bad day, you can throw a temper and we will accept you for it because we are family. If you had a good day, we will throw a party and celebrate with you because we are family. Yes, we are an ordinary family, we love, we laugh, we cry, we complain, we fight, we stick for each other, we loose it at times but we always go the extra mile for the other person and that's what makes this an extraordinary family!

As the clock ticks and my wedding nears, I think about my family and all that's made us what we are and could wish nothing more than to carry with me what I have enjoyed and share my life with a new family that I hope will be able to love and accept me as I am.

Mister God this is @ina... Thank you for the blessing of an ordinary family with the love that makes my everyday life extraordinary.

The Ring

Recently engaged, I found my diamond ring a new addition on my hand a little uncomfortable. Its not that the ring isn't comfortable its just that something new on your finger feels a little different. I was telling my dad that and in his wise way he said he to me - "Remember that marriage is like that - not always comfortable but adds beauty to your life". A thought I know is worth remembering.

Today a few weeks later I found myself reminding myself to check if the ring is still on my finger. I have grown so comfortable with it in such a short while that I hardly realize its there. Its kind of where I am at, it sometimes feels like my would-be and I are so comfortable with each other that we may take each other for granted - "Remember to value the diamond in your life" I told myself because yes, he is one of a kind and worth much more than all the diamonds in the world.

Dear Mister God this is @ina... Hold me close to you, so I always cherish what you have given me to hold.

Changed My World Forever

My world has been changed forever
With the passing of seven brief days
Just has the world was made
Mine has been remade into something more beautiful

Day 1 was the day we met
With one big smile and one brief line I was swept
Day 2 rolled by in a hurry
With the joys and wonders of two families talking
Day 3 we found the perfect ring
That will announce to the world the missing rib that was found
Day 4 we exchange a few kind words
And before we knew it had fallen for eachother
Day 5 we started the day together with God
And ended it making our promise of love forever with family and friends
Day 6 was filled with God's surprises
A bike ride, a family lunch, playing games, just talking
Day 7 was meant to be the day of rest
When I found myself content for I had found what it means to be madly in love!

To my beloved,


Dear Mister God this is @ina... Everytime I close my eyes I thank you for my custom made gift from YOU. :)

A Convenient Life

This years first post is a little late. I have been wondering what I want to toast to this year, and there have been so many nice thoughts but not any that I wanted to blog about. However among my mentorship group we have been lately talking about "Living Convenient Lives" and its been something that has been on my mind a lot.

A convenient life - When "I" am in the center of my life and I do things that are comfortable for me to do. My mind is filled with thoughts about me, my family, my job and all that's mine! I am so caught up in fact that its hard to even notice anything beyond that. Oh but don't get me wrong, I do my part for the community making sure its something that fits into my life well and involves little trouble or effort.

Sounds familiar? Well I can relate soo much that its scary! There are a thousand reasons I could give to justifying everything about that statement but I want to challenge myself to think of something that's not convenient for me to do and do it at least once a week if not everyday.

So this years toast is to going beyond comfort zones and getting wet in the rain, dirty in the mud, scared but jumping out of the plane if that's what it takes to live not just a convenient life but a radical, passionate and creative life!

Dear Mister God this is @ina... A toast to walking with you into an uncharted course, willing to take risks and embracing living on the edge for you!

Laughter

Its been an eventful couple of weeks with my brother back home. Its a few years since we have all been under one roof, at the same time and that adds to the joy.

We have shared so many laughs together over the last couple of weeks along with a a few fights and arguments which all add up to make a family complete. :) He leaves today and I know we are going to miss his humour, big laugh, teasing smile and funny faces.

Laughter I think is the shortest distance between hearts. It has a way of making the world feel like a more cosy place and helps open up our hearts and minds. Well, for those of you who have the gift of humour, use it well and for those who don't perhaps that's one ability worth trying to acquire! :)

Dear Mister God, this is @ina... May the season abound with laughter, joy, peace and love!

Freedom of Choice

I read a statement today about free will. I don't remember it perfectly but the essence of it was that God does not make decisions for us. He enables us make the right ones but at the end of the day the decision is still always ours.

Cliche perhaps. It made me wonder though if in my quest to find God's will for my life if I sometimes forget the freedom of choice that he has given me. It's so much easier to put the responsibility of the decision on God (in case it was a bad one) than take it up and work on it like we should. I have been relating this to a few different circumstances in my life and they all click... I delay a decision waiting for signs and then when they come I think that everything must go as planned and when they don't I give up without even trying.

Like, say finding mister right. God brings about the situations and circumstances that could help me meet who He feels would be a right kind of person for me but the decision to love, the decision to marry is always mine. God can put the right people for His will to be accomplished in our lives but he always lets me decide for myself what I want.

Extrapolating that to other areas of my life, like my future, my dreams and my plans I wonder if a passive acceptance has taken over my life instead of an active participation with God in unveiling my life.

I think I am on to something that needs to change within me and that's worth recording.

Dear Mister God this is @ina... Free me from the laziness of acceptance to embrace the spontaneousness of living my choices.

Stepping Out

Today perhaps was the most anticipated day of this year for me. The day I told my current employer "I choose to move on".

The first thought that comes to my head, let alone everyone else is what's next? Honestly its a bit of a step of faith. I know I had to take this decision and I could not postpone it any longer waiting for the next door to open. I felt it was the right time to say what I said.

I have looked back at the last few years and well am going to save all I have to say for another post. This one is just for me to remember why I did what I had to do.

One, I have one life to live and I have to try on a few different hats instead of sticking to the one that I have now which am quite sure fits me well and even gets me applause every once in a while. Two, Life is about taking chances with resources like money, time and people. None of which are easy but am sure worth taking. Three, I could never hope to have a support system better than the one I have now - an encouraging mom, a trusting dad, a quirky yet loving brother, friends who say don't be afraid to travel the road less travelled and a God who understands it all.

So here I am - towards the end of a decade of my life that has been perhaps the most challenging yet rewarding, proud of who I am, still a little clueless about what I want to be yet not afraid to dream and embrace a future that's not clear.

Dear Mister God this is @ina...Well, whats the fun if it was?!

Holiday Living History

We had planned a family vacation to the capital. A place known for monuments that are centuries old, palaces and forts. It was a joy and a pride to witness the beauty of our ancient past and the rich heritage that is ours. We had a packed three day schedule with places to see, a few shopping areas to visit and some local restaurants we wanted to try.

Everyday was special in its own way. The palaces of the Rajputs, brought alive a glorious past that I have only read about. Looking out from the fort that curves so naturally with the mountainous terrain was so amazing. The visit to the Taj Mahal one of the man made wonders of the world was simply spectacular - The sense of space and dimensions can never be captured on television or in print. On the last day we drove from the the gate of India which stood magnificently on one end to the Presidential palace at the other end and past the Parliment building. The thought of the many kings and queens, presidents and officials who would have passed through that very same path was exciting and humbling. I felt proud to belong to my country.

Manoj a local cab driver took care of us in all our long travels all through our holiday. He was one of those simple people who touch your life and make it all the more enjoyable without even knowing it. Watching my dad interact with him and the way we all spent such a brief time together but found so much in common made me think of the beauty of humanity - We all have our role to play and when we do it with joy and compassion the world is a better place to live in for us all.

Back in the south far from the sights and joys of the last few days I sit here looking back and I can only feel thankful for all the times we shared. I think if I were to leave the world at the drop of a hat I would leave happy not because I have made a million or touched a million lives but because I have a family around me who make me feel like I am worth much more than that.

Dear Mister God this is @ina...Blessed I am. I bless your name!