On Relationships

From a recent conversation with a friend:

The best thing about relationships are,
Relationships make you a better person,
Nobody wants to be a better person,
And its easier to opt not to be in a relationship,
And not be a better person.

I just know thats worth recording! :)

Dear mister God this is @ina... No wonder you created us for relationships! :)

Lost in the Hills

I spent three weeks of this month with a wonderful family and an amazing friend. Though our time together was short I will always cherish the memories. The house I stayed in was a 15 minute walk from the hills where you get lost trekking - The air was fresh, the grass green, the sun shining and just the perfect amount of wind to keep me happy! I loved it!

The family I stayed with had two little girls who were so loving. Kids are really the ones from whom we ought to learn to love from. Their instant acceptance, hugs and joys meant so much to me. And then there was my friend, N. She and I instantly became friends and shared so many cares and joys through the time we spent together. I would never forget this day when we learnt our jobs were at stake and there were so many impending personal decisions because of that - we just took a walk together and laughed so much!

Dear Mister God this is @ina... Thank you for beautiful people who come in all shapes and sizes and touch our lives.

Simple Things

When was the last time you sipped a cup of tea and let the smell refresh you, the flavour tingle on your tongue, the warmth seap down you throat ... Oh well that may all sound a little over exagerated but honestly when was the last time you really enjoyed a cup of tea?

My mother has been observing this simple family who lives in a hut nearby working on a construction of a huge house. They seem to enjoy a simple thing like a cup of coffee so much!

And as we watch them cherish every small luxury (more like every simple pleasure) with such joy it reminds us how much we take for granted in each day.

Dear Mister God this is @ina... May I always enjoy the simplest of pleasures.

In the Middle

Have you ever noticed that in life we seldom seem to be in the middle? The week before last I had absolutely nothing to do and worked barely 8 hours and then this last week has been so hectic i have hardly been able to breathe. When work is idle I complained to myself about reaching a plateau and when work is hectic i feel like a crazy person with no time for myself. Either way I find myself complaining to God about the way things are. Is there no middle God? i asked aloud.

"Well, my daughter he whispered its up to you to stay in the middle regardless of the way life should treat you!" I sighed. Its true, I hold the keys to living a balanced life yet I always seem to be juggling so many balls that I miss the middle.

(Secret: This is where I had saved this post more than a month ago because I dint feel I had learnt what i needed to finish it! I decided to attempt to complete it today...)

So lately, I have been learning a thing or two about balance and most of these lessons have been inspired by this person at work that God has brought into my life who is the exact opposite of me! I am a workaholic while he is a restaholic (if there can be one), i can be hyper while he is layed back, i can be edgy while he is cool.... am sure you get the picture! When asked to work together I had my apprehensions.

But you know what? This relationship has taught me so much about balance. We just need each others qualities in moderation and we could make sure we both have a more balanced work life! Well, i wish we could trade and barter qualities but its not so easy and I have had to work on becoming more easy going while hoping I teach him to be more responsible and now we work together as a simply great team though we did get off to a bit of a rough start. Now thats what I call God's surpirses! :)

Dear Mister God this is @ina . . . Got to love you for the lessons you teach me so gently and faithfully!

Life

My dad and mom were dropping me at the airport at about 3.00 AM in the morning. I got into the car and said, do you both really have to come to drop me so early in the morning? Dad had a simple answer, "What is life da, but being together as long as we can".

To him, those 30 minutes of being together in the car on the way to the airport where special. To him, every moment of being together as a family counts and life is about making the most of those moments.

Dad's words kept ringing in my heart. I think thats a beautiful way of defining life.

Dear Mister God, this is @ina . . . May we always have the joy of togetherness.

Love should make it Possible

I sat on the beach having a hearty chat with this friend of mine. We talked about work, about the challenges we faced each day, about our weaknesses and our desire to be better people... The conversation was centered around God and how with Him in our lives everything is so different.

She brought out an interesting point - If we love God, she said it must be so easy to do the right things because our motivation would be love. Yet we seem to keep failing. People do the right thing when driven by the fear of consequences than for love!

Isn't that so true? Love should make it possible for us to be gentle, kind, gracious, non-judgemental, accepting, forgiving... and all those nice things! We would probably practice all these qualities at work where peoples opinions matter but not with the people we love.

Why? we asked ourselves. I have been thinking about it, and it seems to me that the reason could be that Love is not easy - Love involves giving ourselves freely to another. Love demands us to put our focus on another instead of ourselves. Love insists that we forgive even when we know we will be hurt again... It draws me to the conclusion that Love is only possible with God. And the more we know God the more we can Love.

Btw - This is my 200th post! :) Thank you to those of you who read and keep me writing!

Dear Mister God, this is @ina . . . Your love makes me sing!

Guilty as Charged

Hmmm.... I messed up. I made a mistake. This is not the first time I messed up. I have made the same mistake before and yet always found reasons to justify myself. Even now my mind can think of a hundred reasons why I did what I did but my heart knows that I was wrong. I let the battle rage in my mind, defending my actions and refusing to accept the simple fact that I was guilty! At the end of it all it was time to Surrender. I had to accept that I did not want to do what I did. I had to make up for the mistake that hurt a friend. I had to say I was sorry. I had to think of the *real* reason I did what I did. I had to get to the root of my problem and ask God to help me deal with it.

Peace is mine again and this post is a gentle reminder to me, to keep my promise to be gracious in speech.

Dear Mister God, this is @ina . . . Guilty as charged I come to you humbly and ask for forgiveness and the grace to change.

Positive Whispers

I have always found that I find the greatest joy when I can quietly make a difference in a person's life. It may be one conversation, a word of encouragement or a discussion that resulted in some positive outcome. I consciously made an effort this week to find means and ways in which I could be positive and its funny but when you put your head to it there really is so much that can be done!

I found myself actually striking up various conversations, trying to be helpful when I felt tired, listen when my mind was full of thoughts of my own and the result was cool! I had made the time to whisper positive things to more than two lives and could see tangible differences in them. Exciting Stuff, Try it! :)

Dear Mister God, this is @ina . . . You designed us to love and there is nothing more exciting than being your instrument in all situations.

Just Cannot Out-give

This season I have learnt some lessons on giving from the most humble of folks. A beautiful new house is being built next to us and we have a family of construction labourers who are temporarily living in a small hut near us to complete the work. The family has two small children a girl and a boy barely 2 and 1 year old.

The kids have the brightest most beautiful eyes and smile and we play with them when we get a chance. Mum has taken an interest in the family and helps them every now and then with practical things they need. She loves to give the kids small gifts like toys, balloons, ribbons, shoes or little snacks to eat.

However they surprise us by giving us a portion of their lintels or vegetables they buy, and even gave us some money on the local harvest day saying it was tradition. They give with love and we just cannot say No.

Whatever we give and do is out of our plentiful. What they give, they give out of their nothing. I am constantly challenged to see them give so generously when they have nothing and yet do it so happily while I am content giving out of the surplus. And through the months of this relationship, I have learnt we just cannot out-give this poor family

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking... May my heart be always willing to give even when I have nothing to give.

Finding my Sparkle

I have not been writing very regularly lately and am making an effort to catch up on a few posts ahead of the new year. Year end posts are usually a celebration but here is one thats a little different.

Each of us have within us a sparkle - Something that makes our eyes glow, our face shine and our hearts rejoice. Let's stop for a second there. Thought of what makes you sparkle?

Well, I have seen that sparkle in my eyes on occasions when the kindness of a person overwhelms me, or the love I feel in my heart consumes me, or the joy of the moment captivates me. Lately that sparkle in me is missing. I wake up, go to work, work hard, enjoy work and the interaction at work, relax when at home, catch up with friends and so on.... The norm I should think but then there is definitely something missing. There was a point and time when no matter what i did I was excited, when hope was always louder than despair and Faith was stronger than Fear. When grey clouds where but a passing rain and sunshine never seemed too far away.

What has changed I ask myself and the answer seems simple - I have changed.

I have let go of childhood dreams and hit reality head on, I have grown tired of innocent hopes and accepted life’s twists, I have silenced the music in my spirit to listen to the voices of the world - I have settled for what is rather than expect what can be.

Am I right? I don’t think so.

So this New Year I have made a vow to myself to change what I can to put the spark back into my life. To sift through my baggage and find what makes me sparkle and pursue it.

If you are reading and can identify with me, Join me and lets raise our glasses to a new year of finding what makes us sparkle and pursuing it rather than settling for what is! :)

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking... Help me to always remember You created me and put in my spirit a sparkle for a purpose.

My Wish-list

I spent most of this year in a foreign country and enjoyed it very much – The people, places, sights, sounds, seasons where all new and exciting. Like anyone traveling abroad I had my own list of small wishes.

Well I can’t list them all but they are simple things like riding on a bus, taking a tram, playing in snow, making a snow angel, trying out crazy rides, ice skating to name a few. Oh! & this is a funny one… doing a drive through car wash! You see growing up my brother had this car set which had a car wash. You could move the car through it and there will be so many stages with water and soap and dry heat to clean the car. Well, I wanted to experience it from inside the car rather than just push the car through it.

I didn’t own a car so I could not do it myself but still just wanted to experience a car wash! Today, a day before I am to take my flight home a few friends and I went for a long drive to a mountain park and on our way back stopped at a gas station. Incidentally my friend noticed the car wash they had and decided the car desperately needed a wash! I was excited. It was as much fun as I thought it would be! :)

Beyond the fact that I enjoyed the car wash it just seemed like a heavenly reminder about how nothing is an accident and everything has a purpose designed by God. A God who took me all the way across the globe to provide me new experiences. A God He who enjoys seeing me have my wishes come true. A God who delights in my happiness. A God who watches over me and listens to my every prayer, every murmur from my heart. And no matter what life may bring my way and no matter what circumstances are like I was reminded of the fact that there is a God and He Cares.

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking. . . :) You are great!

A white world

I slept late last night hoping to be up early and out in the sunshine to go shopping. I woke up at 8, pretty late by my standards and drew the curtains to be absolutely amazed. The world had turned all white while I slept. I had not seen the weather forecast and apparently there was a snow prediction. All night long, there was a steady soft snowfall and now in the light of the morning everything looked absolutely white. The cars were covered with a couple of inches of snow and I could barely see their outline, the roads were missing, just white land stretching for as far as my eyes could see, the trees and bushes were specially a lovely sight. You could see people still bustling around in their winter jackets and hats looking crimson in the cold and surprisingly the sun was out. In the light of the sun the snow shone so bright that it was quite blinding. Steadily the snow still kept falling relentlessly and I felt like I was inside one of those beautiful paperweights where you could shake it and the small fake snow fell slowly down. It was a winter wonderland.

My friend’s and I got together and had a hot meal, played with cards for awhile, and then took a walk in the white world. We stooped at Starbucks to have a hot chocolate drink and talked about this and that. It was lovely.

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . Am amazed by the beauty of your creation and the spirit you have put within us.

Take a Deep Breath

I have met this wonderful woman who I work with, recently. She is a one of a kind person and every time I talk to her I feel like I learn something new. It’s her attitude about everything, her outlook, her passion, her smile and her no-nonsense ways that make her special.

I have been learning a lot from her but one thing worth mentioning is – Take a deep Breath! You see, whenever she hears something that is disturbing, or not exactly what she wants to hear, she simply takes a deep breath. Sometimes she does it very deliberately and then pauses and moves on to express how she feels. Needless to say her words are always well thought and she seems to tackle all obstacles with tact.

She often would remind us to take a deep breath when we felt the pressure rise. I think that’s one lesson worth remembering!

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . Am glad you let her paths cross mine. Thank You.

Task Versus People

Given a responsibility or task, it simply consumes me and takes first priority in my life. I generally go a long way to try to make people comfortable and tend to focus more on the long term benefits of investing into their lives rather than just getting the job done. However, I have noticed that the people involved with me, their feelings, concerns, life are things that are important to me but get overshadowed by my sense of responsibility on the task specifically when there is a lot of pressure.

Today for example at least two times I caught myself immediately focusing on the task at hand rather than first ensuring at least as a bare minimum I enquired on the personal concerns they had shared with me the previous day. It is rather an embarrassing discovery to make.

I have worked with a mentor type leader for the last couple of years who draws a hard and fast line between work and personal rapo. At work, X is very professional and focused on the responsibility at hand but after five tends to be more personal and easy to relate to. X has helped me learn to expect more of myself, work hard and constantly exceed expectations however I remember being upset at times about the fact that X never would say a good and kind word when things were hectic and that's when I needed it.

I am making the same mistake. I get so wrapped up in what needs to be done that I forget to be mindful of the way people around me feel on the days when I am under pressure and probably that's when its more important for me to do that.

Sigh. I have patient friends however who smile regardless. Thank you!

Dear Mister God, this is @ina . . . Grant me Patience and Good Cheer under Pressure!

P.S I recently stumbled across this blog of a friend - Good Posts! http://sereno-thoughts.blogspot.com/2009/01/look-in-mirror-of-life.html