A Three Part Harmony

As a young girl I loved to watch old British movies - the girls in their frilly frocks, the men in their multi-layered coats, the elaborate dinners, beautiful ballroom dances, and the couples who would go for long walks hand in hand... So when I think of a harmony, what comes to my mind is a room exquisitely decorated with a fire place, a pianist playing on a grand piano a melodious piece of music and a couple who dance to the tune in delight. They all seem to be in one accord, the pianist, the music and the dancers.

Well, marriage is a lot like ballroom dancing I think. Without God the creative musician, we just would not be able to dance... but with God, there is a harmony, a beauty that keeps us on one accord. You have to trust your partner to take the lead, you have to both keep pace with each other so you don't step on each others feet, you have to listen to the music and dance to the beat and as you watch a couple who have practice dancing together you can see that they almost anticipate each others next move, graciously they glide together like one entity around the room, enjoying being in each others arms and smiling knowing that together they are beautiful.

Mister God this is @ina... May we always dance to the tune of the Father, through the example of his Son and the guidance of the Holy Spirit God.

The End and the Beginning

I spent time on my roof top today thinking about an era of my life when I think life has been simple... Pleasing God was my one desire, loving my parents was all I could want, family and friends took me as I am and being good at my work was a blessing from above. Many an evening have I spent basking in a sunset or watching the birds or enjoying the wind or awed by the stars and silenced by the full moon. Its my God and me place where I sing, pour my heart out to him, dance, cry, laugh and just take life in. Over the last few years I have travelled a lot and the roof top has not been as much my secret place as it used to be but wherever I go I have managed to find that quiet place where my maker and I can just talk.

This era is coming to an end and its time for me to move out from my home so I can build a home of our own. Leaving the home I have called my own and the family I adore to go to a new place in a totally different timezone all together is not a very easy step but I am blessed with an able man, who I love, admire and respect, which makes this step seem a little easier to take than I thought it would be.

With every end I am realizing there is a new beginning and this may seem to be an end to an era of my life but love never ends and all that really matters are relationships in this era which I have no doubt will evolve and grow with many new surprises along with this new exciting beginning in my life.

Dear Mister God, this is @ina . . . With every end comes new beginnings, together help me to grow, evolve, build and blossom in all that is to come!

An (extra)ordinary Family

We have been having a couple of crazy weeks preparing for the big day... My wedding. Mum has been doing things for me and with me morning, noon and night, Dad has been out on the hot and dusty roads making preparations day after day and my brother keeps checking-in with all the love and support possible.

We are an ordinary family, mum and dad love us to bits, have always been there for us and given us the best of everything, most of all, their lives and their time. Mum has spent every waking hour thinking about us, providing for us, being there for us, and in general putting up with a lot of crap from us specially as we have grown up and at times tend to resent her unconditional love! Dad is the strong support every person wishes to have... he is always there cheering for us, rooting for us against all odds, and there to do for us what we cannot do for ourselves and most times also doing what we can do for ourselves. My brother, well he is the one who keeps us balanced & down to earth, rolling in laughter and comfort. He is not a man of many words, but his presence delights us all, makes me mischievous and makes dad and mum go up the wall at times but all in good spirit.

What makes our house, a home is my mums philosophy that Home is the one place you can be yourself and its okay. If you had a bad day, you can throw a temper and we will accept you for it because we are family. If you had a good day, we will throw a party and celebrate with you because we are family. Yes, we are an ordinary family, we love, we laugh, we cry, we complain, we fight, we stick for each other, we loose it at times but we always go the extra mile for the other person and that's what makes this an extraordinary family!

As the clock ticks and my wedding nears, I think about my family and all that's made us what we are and could wish nothing more than to carry with me what I have enjoyed and share my life with a new family that I hope will be able to love and accept me as I am.

Mister God this is @ina... Thank you for the blessing of an ordinary family with the love that makes my everyday life extraordinary.

The Ring

Recently engaged, I found my diamond ring a new addition on my hand a little uncomfortable. Its not that the ring isn't comfortable its just that something new on your finger feels a little different. I was telling my dad that and in his wise way he said he to me - "Remember that marriage is like that - not always comfortable but adds beauty to your life". A thought I know is worth remembering.

Today a few weeks later I found myself reminding myself to check if the ring is still on my finger. I have grown so comfortable with it in such a short while that I hardly realize its there. Its kind of where I am at, it sometimes feels like my would-be and I are so comfortable with each other that we may take each other for granted - "Remember to value the diamond in your life" I told myself because yes, he is one of a kind and worth much more than all the diamonds in the world.

Dear Mister God this is @ina... Hold me close to you, so I always cherish what you have given me to hold.

Changed My World Forever

My world has been changed forever
With the passing of seven brief days
Just has the world was made
Mine has been remade into something more beautiful

Day 1 was the day we met
With one big smile and one brief line I was swept
Day 2 rolled by in a hurry
With the joys and wonders of two families talking
Day 3 we found the perfect ring
That will announce to the world the missing rib that was found
Day 4 we exchange a few kind words
And before we knew it had fallen for eachother
Day 5 we started the day together with God
And ended it making our promise of love forever with family and friends
Day 6 was filled with God's surprises
A bike ride, a family lunch, playing games, just talking
Day 7 was meant to be the day of rest
When I found myself content for I had found what it means to be madly in love!

To my beloved,


Dear Mister God this is @ina... Everytime I close my eyes I thank you for my custom made gift from YOU. :)

A Convenient Life

This years first post is a little late. I have been wondering what I want to toast to this year, and there have been so many nice thoughts but not any that I wanted to blog about. However among my mentorship group we have been lately talking about "Living Convenient Lives" and its been something that has been on my mind a lot.

A convenient life - When "I" am in the center of my life and I do things that are comfortable for me to do. My mind is filled with thoughts about me, my family, my job and all that's mine! I am so caught up in fact that its hard to even notice anything beyond that. Oh but don't get me wrong, I do my part for the community making sure its something that fits into my life well and involves little trouble or effort.

Sounds familiar? Well I can relate soo much that its scary! There are a thousand reasons I could give to justifying everything about that statement but I want to challenge myself to think of something that's not convenient for me to do and do it at least once a week if not everyday.

So this years toast is to going beyond comfort zones and getting wet in the rain, dirty in the mud, scared but jumping out of the plane if that's what it takes to live not just a convenient life but a radical, passionate and creative life!

Dear Mister God this is @ina... A toast to walking with you into an uncharted course, willing to take risks and embracing living on the edge for you!

Laughter

Its been an eventful couple of weeks with my brother back home. Its a few years since we have all been under one roof, at the same time and that adds to the joy.

We have shared so many laughs together over the last couple of weeks along with a a few fights and arguments which all add up to make a family complete. :) He leaves today and I know we are going to miss his humour, big laugh, teasing smile and funny faces.

Laughter I think is the shortest distance between hearts. It has a way of making the world feel like a more cosy place and helps open up our hearts and minds. Well, for those of you who have the gift of humour, use it well and for those who don't perhaps that's one ability worth trying to acquire! :)

Dear Mister God, this is @ina... May the season abound with laughter, joy, peace and love!

Freedom of Choice

I read a statement today about free will. I don't remember it perfectly but the essence of it was that God does not make decisions for us. He enables us make the right ones but at the end of the day the decision is still always ours.

Cliche perhaps. It made me wonder though if in my quest to find God's will for my life if I sometimes forget the freedom of choice that he has given me. It's so much easier to put the responsibility of the decision on God (in case it was a bad one) than take it up and work on it like we should. I have been relating this to a few different circumstances in my life and they all click... I delay a decision waiting for signs and then when they come I think that everything must go as planned and when they don't I give up without even trying.

Like, say finding mister right. God brings about the situations and circumstances that could help me meet who He feels would be a right kind of person for me but the decision to love, the decision to marry is always mine. God can put the right people for His will to be accomplished in our lives but he always lets me decide for myself what I want.

Extrapolating that to other areas of my life, like my future, my dreams and my plans I wonder if a passive acceptance has taken over my life instead of an active participation with God in unveiling my life.

I think I am on to something that needs to change within me and that's worth recording.

Dear Mister God this is @ina... Free me from the laziness of acceptance to embrace the spontaneousness of living my choices.

Stepping Out

Today perhaps was the most anticipated day of this year for me. The day I told my current employer "I choose to move on".

The first thought that comes to my head, let alone everyone else is what's next? Honestly its a bit of a step of faith. I know I had to take this decision and I could not postpone it any longer waiting for the next door to open. I felt it was the right time to say what I said.

I have looked back at the last few years and well am going to save all I have to say for another post. This one is just for me to remember why I did what I had to do.

One, I have one life to live and I have to try on a few different hats instead of sticking to the one that I have now which am quite sure fits me well and even gets me applause every once in a while. Two, Life is about taking chances with resources like money, time and people. None of which are easy but am sure worth taking. Three, I could never hope to have a support system better than the one I have now - an encouraging mom, a trusting dad, a quirky yet loving brother, friends who say don't be afraid to travel the road less travelled and a God who understands it all.

So here I am - towards the end of a decade of my life that has been perhaps the most challenging yet rewarding, proud of who I am, still a little clueless about what I want to be yet not afraid to dream and embrace a future that's not clear.

Dear Mister God this is @ina...Well, whats the fun if it was?!

Holiday Living History

We had planned a family vacation to the capital. A place known for monuments that are centuries old, palaces and forts. It was a joy and a pride to witness the beauty of our ancient past and the rich heritage that is ours. We had a packed three day schedule with places to see, a few shopping areas to visit and some local restaurants we wanted to try.

Everyday was special in its own way. The palaces of the Rajputs, brought alive a glorious past that I have only read about. Looking out from the fort that curves so naturally with the mountainous terrain was so amazing. The visit to the Taj Mahal one of the man made wonders of the world was simply spectacular - The sense of space and dimensions can never be captured on television or in print. On the last day we drove from the the gate of India which stood magnificently on one end to the Presidential palace at the other end and past the Parliment building. The thought of the many kings and queens, presidents and officials who would have passed through that very same path was exciting and humbling. I felt proud to belong to my country.

Manoj a local cab driver took care of us in all our long travels all through our holiday. He was one of those simple people who touch your life and make it all the more enjoyable without even knowing it. Watching my dad interact with him and the way we all spent such a brief time together but found so much in common made me think of the beauty of humanity - We all have our role to play and when we do it with joy and compassion the world is a better place to live in for us all.

Back in the south far from the sights and joys of the last few days I sit here looking back and I can only feel thankful for all the times we shared. I think if I were to leave the world at the drop of a hat I would leave happy not because I have made a million or touched a million lives but because I have a family around me who make me feel like I am worth much more than that.

Dear Mister God this is @ina...Blessed I am. I bless your name!

ITs a Male Dominated World

I have worked for over 5 years in the IT field. My career was not planned, It just happened. I have enjoyed my work mostly and always strived to change as a person and bring the best in me and those around me. I must admit that the people aspect of my job excites me a lot more than the technical aspect.

Not many women stay on in the same company and I am one of the few who has stayed and grown. I have grown faster than expected and found myself often the lone women among many men - be it in official meetings, discussions, forums, dinners or coffee.

Its not an easy job being the lone woman and there have always been men who have supported, inspired and encouraged me to be my best at all times and then there are those who would make every effort to thwart my confidence.

I have had tough days but through it all I have learnt lessons for life I believe on being humble, gracious, accepting, courageous, discreet, assertive and many more. Lately however I have been feeling tired. Tired of playing my role in an IT environment where acceptance comes with conditions, encouragement with expectations, recognition with implications and friendships are not always free.

I started this year with a vow to change a few things about my life and ambitiously went about it. I may not have accomplished a lot but I did knock some interesting doors with potential. I stand here now wondering if it is time I shut the door on where I am at so I can see more clearly when a new door opens...

Dear Mister God this is @ina . . . You know where I am at, You see what I am meant to be - Please take me where I ought to be.

Turning a Blind Eye

When something about a person is not exactly up to my liking one of my easiest ways to let it pass was to turn a blind eye. I personally don’t find it hard to turn a blind eye to something that am not essentially happy about or that is not up to my liking.

Recently though I have been thinking this is not the best way to react especially when a person I love is concerned. For example, say a friend I really like loves eating/talking about Sushi. And I just turn a blind eye, so everything she says about Sushi just goes over my head. Soon she would realize I could not care less about her love for Sushi and she will not talk to me about it anymore. I would lose out on knowing a piece of her that is an important part of her and perhaps I may not love her for all that she IS.

Well Sushi is not a great example but based on experience I have decided it is important for me to value and love a person completely for all their likes, dislikes, habits, thoughts, friends, family, fears, hopes and dreams and only then could I truly expect a person to be transparent with me and share with me all that matters to them.

I guess when it comes to a child this is all the more difficult cause you really need to pay attention or you can miss little signs quite easily. It can be daunting to keep track of things that bother them, upset them but it’s important to make them we feel we value all those thoughts and feelings so they know we listen, we share and we love then completely.

Well, on a side note I have found myself shut out things/sides of me from people I care about simply because I know it’s not something that interests them. And am learning at times I need to edge myself to keep talking and being transparent even if it’s not something they care about since our relationship matters to me.

Dear Mister God this is @ina... I don’t think you turn a blind eye to any part of me but take me as I am. Help me to do the same.

Comfort of Counting on Someone

I know a few people in life who I could go to with a need without thinking twice. It could be something very simple or it could be something that required them to stretch a little, or go out of the way for me but I know I can go to them and everything will be okay.

Then there are a few I know I can count on but not always. People I go to when I must and not when I want.

The first kind have an incredible grace about them. They make it so easy for me to approach them and give me the feeling of comfort and confidence that I have someone I can count on. They make it seem so easy to do things for other people without a second thought or any questions.

I wonder how I make people feel? My mind tells me its not possible to be someone who everyone can count on, but I am convinced its not so much about what you 'do' but how you 'are' that gives a person the comfort to come to you and that's something that challenges me.

Dear Mister God this is @ina... Give me the grace to consciously work towards being someone who is dependable.

Sharing My Story

Lately I have been interested in asking people their story. I have found there is so much to learn and share in knowing a persons story and it is important to share your own. I believe every life story is written with the purpose of being a blessing to others and so in sharing our story we help shape each other.

Well here is mine, I am trying to be as crisp as I possible can - My journey of finding purpose in life started a long time ago when I was just a child. I always felt God within me and was convinced on the need to live a life pleasing to God. From a very young age i would work very hard at being a good person because i felt that is the way to please God. I spent the first decade or more of my life trying so hard to be perfect. I have diaries recording all my actions. LOL! I spared no energy or effort to become perfect!

It was from there that God gently picked me up and began showing me slowly that all my so called Goodness was worth nothing. That he loved me no matter what and that what I do, did not matter as much as knowing He loved me. Grace was something I fought against for awhile and it was not easy accepting God loved me just the way I am. The first milestone in my journey was knowing God loves me wholly.

I spoke to God all the time but was always slightly doubtful if I was talking to myself and was very concerned. So one day, I sat in a corner of the house and said to God "I need to Know TODAY if it is really you speaking to me or someone else...I heard Him say "Here am I". I laughed hard to myself. I told myself God cannot say Here am I!! Convinced that the voice I was talking to was not His I laughed loud and took my Bible to read and decided like normal people, God should speak to me through the Bible. Here is what I read - Isaiah 65:1 (NIV) (“I revealed myself to those who did not ask for me; I was found by those who did not seek me. To a nation that did not call on my name, I said, ‘Here am I, here am I.") I fell on my knees and was overjoyed to know my God was not just a loving God but a God who constantly speaks to me and lives in me.

From then began a new journey of falling in love with God... Slowly as he became part of everything I did, I discovered a friend, a shepherd, an exciting God, a funny God, a smart God, a God who was interested in the minute details of my life and revealed himself to me. I just fell day after day over and over in love with Him. We talked non-stop somedays and somedays I did forget to include him but would run back into his arms. I had to depend on him so completely to please Him as I realized I am incapable of any good without him.

Like every love story there came some trials and hard times that made me doubt if all I had come to know of God was true. For a period of time I walked away from my dearest friend and tried to only lean on Him when I need him instead of enjoying every bit of life with Him but he has been slowly drawing me back to Him.

So after spending a decade or more trying to be perfect and please god and failing miserably, I spent the last decade or more learning God can fill everything in my everyday transforming me if I only let Him!

Dear Mister God this is @ina... Looking forward to the next decade (or more) of dwelling with you.