Just Cannot Out-give

This season I have learnt some lessons on giving from the most humble of folks. A beautiful new house is being built next to us and we have a family of construction labourers who are temporarily living in a small hut near us to complete the work. The family has two small children a girl and a boy barely 2 and 1 year old.

The kids have the brightest most beautiful eyes and smile and we play with them when we get a chance. Mum has taken an interest in the family and helps them every now and then with practical things they need. She loves to give the kids small gifts like toys, balloons, ribbons, shoes or little snacks to eat.

However they surprise us by giving us a portion of their lintels or vegetables they buy, and even gave us some money on the local harvest day saying it was tradition. They give with love and we just cannot say No.

Whatever we give and do is out of our plentiful. What they give, they give out of their nothing. I am constantly challenged to see them give so generously when they have nothing and yet do it so happily while I am content giving out of the surplus. And through the months of this relationship, I have learnt we just cannot out-give this poor family

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking... May my heart be always willing to give even when I have nothing to give.

Finding my Sparkle

I have not been writing very regularly lately and am making an effort to catch up on a few posts ahead of the new year. Year end posts are usually a celebration but here is one thats a little different.

Each of us have within us a sparkle - Something that makes our eyes glow, our face shine and our hearts rejoice. Let's stop for a second there. Thought of what makes you sparkle?

Well, I have seen that sparkle in my eyes on occasions when the kindness of a person overwhelms me, or the love I feel in my heart consumes me, or the joy of the moment captivates me. Lately that sparkle in me is missing. I wake up, go to work, work hard, enjoy work and the interaction at work, relax when at home, catch up with friends and so on.... The norm I should think but then there is definitely something missing. There was a point and time when no matter what i did I was excited, when hope was always louder than despair and Faith was stronger than Fear. When grey clouds where but a passing rain and sunshine never seemed too far away.

What has changed I ask myself and the answer seems simple - I have changed.

I have let go of childhood dreams and hit reality head on, I have grown tired of innocent hopes and accepted life’s twists, I have silenced the music in my spirit to listen to the voices of the world - I have settled for what is rather than expect what can be.

Am I right? I don’t think so.

So this New Year I have made a vow to myself to change what I can to put the spark back into my life. To sift through my baggage and find what makes me sparkle and pursue it.

If you are reading and can identify with me, Join me and lets raise our glasses to a new year of finding what makes us sparkle and pursuing it rather than settling for what is! :)

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking... Help me to always remember You created me and put in my spirit a sparkle for a purpose.

My Wish-list

I spent most of this year in a foreign country and enjoyed it very much – The people, places, sights, sounds, seasons where all new and exciting. Like anyone traveling abroad I had my own list of small wishes.

Well I can’t list them all but they are simple things like riding on a bus, taking a tram, playing in snow, making a snow angel, trying out crazy rides, ice skating to name a few. Oh! & this is a funny one… doing a drive through car wash! You see growing up my brother had this car set which had a car wash. You could move the car through it and there will be so many stages with water and soap and dry heat to clean the car. Well, I wanted to experience it from inside the car rather than just push the car through it.

I didn’t own a car so I could not do it myself but still just wanted to experience a car wash! Today, a day before I am to take my flight home a few friends and I went for a long drive to a mountain park and on our way back stopped at a gas station. Incidentally my friend noticed the car wash they had and decided the car desperately needed a wash! I was excited. It was as much fun as I thought it would be! :)

Beyond the fact that I enjoyed the car wash it just seemed like a heavenly reminder about how nothing is an accident and everything has a purpose designed by God. A God who took me all the way across the globe to provide me new experiences. A God He who enjoys seeing me have my wishes come true. A God who delights in my happiness. A God who watches over me and listens to my every prayer, every murmur from my heart. And no matter what life may bring my way and no matter what circumstances are like I was reminded of the fact that there is a God and He Cares.

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking. . . :) You are great!

A white world

I slept late last night hoping to be up early and out in the sunshine to go shopping. I woke up at 8, pretty late by my standards and drew the curtains to be absolutely amazed. The world had turned all white while I slept. I had not seen the weather forecast and apparently there was a snow prediction. All night long, there was a steady soft snowfall and now in the light of the morning everything looked absolutely white. The cars were covered with a couple of inches of snow and I could barely see their outline, the roads were missing, just white land stretching for as far as my eyes could see, the trees and bushes were specially a lovely sight. You could see people still bustling around in their winter jackets and hats looking crimson in the cold and surprisingly the sun was out. In the light of the sun the snow shone so bright that it was quite blinding. Steadily the snow still kept falling relentlessly and I felt like I was inside one of those beautiful paperweights where you could shake it and the small fake snow fell slowly down. It was a winter wonderland.

My friend’s and I got together and had a hot meal, played with cards for awhile, and then took a walk in the white world. We stooped at Starbucks to have a hot chocolate drink and talked about this and that. It was lovely.

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . Am amazed by the beauty of your creation and the spirit you have put within us.

Take a Deep Breath

I have met this wonderful woman who I work with, recently. She is a one of a kind person and every time I talk to her I feel like I learn something new. It’s her attitude about everything, her outlook, her passion, her smile and her no-nonsense ways that make her special.

I have been learning a lot from her but one thing worth mentioning is – Take a deep Breath! You see, whenever she hears something that is disturbing, or not exactly what she wants to hear, she simply takes a deep breath. Sometimes she does it very deliberately and then pauses and moves on to express how she feels. Needless to say her words are always well thought and she seems to tackle all obstacles with tact.

She often would remind us to take a deep breath when we felt the pressure rise. I think that’s one lesson worth remembering!

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . Am glad you let her paths cross mine. Thank You.

Task Versus People

Given a responsibility or task, it simply consumes me and takes first priority in my life. I generally go a long way to try to make people comfortable and tend to focus more on the long term benefits of investing into their lives rather than just getting the job done. However, I have noticed that the people involved with me, their feelings, concerns, life are things that are important to me but get overshadowed by my sense of responsibility on the task specifically when there is a lot of pressure.

Today for example at least two times I caught myself immediately focusing on the task at hand rather than first ensuring at least as a bare minimum I enquired on the personal concerns they had shared with me the previous day. It is rather an embarrassing discovery to make.

I have worked with a mentor type leader for the last couple of years who draws a hard and fast line between work and personal rapo. At work, X is very professional and focused on the responsibility at hand but after five tends to be more personal and easy to relate to. X has helped me learn to expect more of myself, work hard and constantly exceed expectations however I remember being upset at times about the fact that X never would say a good and kind word when things were hectic and that's when I needed it.

I am making the same mistake. I get so wrapped up in what needs to be done that I forget to be mindful of the way people around me feel on the days when I am under pressure and probably that's when its more important for me to do that.

Sigh. I have patient friends however who smile regardless. Thank you!

Dear Mister God, this is @ina . . . Grant me Patience and Good Cheer under Pressure!

P.S I recently stumbled across this blog of a friend - Good Posts! http://sereno-thoughts.blogspot.com/2009/01/look-in-mirror-of-life.html

A Beautiful Sunday

Today I was reminded of the most simplest of sermons yet most powerful of all... Talk to God about everything... Everything!

Dear Mister God, this is @ina . . . Here I am, yet again. Glad to be reminded of the simplest of truths and most beautiful of blessings.

Trust

Trust is something thats very unique in nature. Hard to earn and easy to loose is one of the most cliche statements we must have heard. I think of Trust has Faith in a person based on your knowledge of who they are and what they stand for.

Trust I beleive is built from truthfullness. A few happenings have led me to question my trust. All i expected was honesty and the truth and not being told that hurt. But then I guess in the aftermath I am wondering if I was always told the truth - would I be able to handle/accept it?

Maybe thats one reason why its hard to expect trustworthiness from others let alone to be trustworthy.

Dear Mister God, this is @ina . . . Its tough to earn trust and tougher still not to have someone trustworthy. Enable me to be trustworthy.

House of Thoughts

This post may not apply to all but I am hoping a few out there could connect with me.

There are some of us who come across as thoughtful. Our thoughts are deep and we often find ourselves lost in them. We may be a little too introspective and self critical. We replay everything we say and do through the day in our head especially when things dint go well and try to find what we could have done better. We find it hard to let go of the things we failed to do right and try to have an idealistic relationship with everyone we know.

To me, such a person, this is probably one of the most important statements a friend can ever say - Don't let your thoughts live your life.

Here is how i understand that - We live in a house made of thoughts. And there are two ways we can build our house. One, like a bird we can make a nest where our thoughts are a strong foundation, a place to rest and prepare for the next day. When morning comes we take flight in search of new experiences. Two, like a frog we can make our thoughts a strong wall around us and live within the confines of it like the story of the frog in the well.

Thoughts are a part of who we are but like all things need to be balanced. When we let our thoughts take over our life we end up like a frog imprisoned in the wall of our thoughts. A better use of our thoughts would be to build us up for new experiences everyday by motivating ourselves to spread our wings like a bird, taking one day at a time and not worrying about the little things.

A bird or a frog? Perhaps I need to ask myself that question everyday.

This blog was inspired by a dear friend - Thank you!

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking. . . Help me soar like an eagle!

You & We

Recently I said "They" in context to another part of my team on a different shore but meant it quite strongly as in "They did that not us!". I was gently reminded by this person I respect to say "We". Just repeating the sentence with a "We" instead of "They" turned the whole thing into such a positive statement.

Ironically the same day I received this mail with a "You" instead of "We" and it made me quite mad! I read it over again with a "We" instead and it magically transformed the mail into nothing much to be upset about.

It is a small word but certainly makes a whole lot of difference to what your saying and how you mean it. I have this friend who always had the ability to say *We*. Even if it was a task that I was supposed to do, X will always say "We" can do it! And it just made you feel like a team and no matter how tough the task the "We" factor made it light to the mind.

Tonight as I was chatting with my mom she was telling me of a cousin who made it more easier for his mom, battling sickness by always saying "We" as in We can beat this together!"

It's a small word but can make a big difference to the way we think, feel and act in a situation!

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . May my I's and You's be overshadowed by We's.

Memorable Line from the Movie

Jenny Curran: Do you ever dream, Forrest, about who you're gonna be?
Forrest Gump: Who I'm gonna be?
Jenny Curran: Yeah.
Forrest Gump: Aren't-aren't I going to be me?

Wow!

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . To be me - Thats my purpose after all.

The Key to Happiness

This must be one of the most debated topics in the world. And its probably true that one size does not fit all. In the sense that each of us will need to find out what the key to our happiness is.

I have spent many long evenings starring at the stars wondering what would make me happy. I know that nothing excites me more than knowing that I am capable of and many times do make a difference in the lives around me.

Having said that this post is more about a general rule of thumb for happiness. Most of my posts are inspired by conversations with those around me and so is this one.

X asked me, did you really enjoy it? We were talking about the year I spent in another country. My spontaneous reply was, I went there without any expectations and so every smallest kind act or word felt like a surprise gift. And everyday I would find myself receiving such gifts big and small from different places and people that it kept me happy most of the time!

Ah! Said X, Having no expectations is the key to happiness.

I haven't quite thought of it that way, but its true. In an unfamiliar country with new friends its easier to have no expectations and thereby be pleasantly surprised over every good thing but back home I guess take-it-for-granted rules over no-expectations.

So is no expectations a general key to happiness? Definitely worth a thought!

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking. . . May I always have the humility to remember every kindness is a gift.

Let Go

In a meeting today someone said these words - "Learn to let Go."

It made me think of the many times when if I even make a silly mistake, I let my little head choose to slip n slide over split milk rather than forging forward with my next attempt!

Its a simple statement to make but I only wish we all had the capabilities to do that.... it would simplify our lives *so* much - We could accept people just the way they are, put up with a lot of stuff that annoys us in general, make mature decisions, move forward faster.... In fact I am sure if we as a person or a group or a city or a nation decide to let go of things that need to be let go and focus on things that need attention we could achieve incredible heights. And I mean incredible!

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . grant me the serenity to let go of the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference!

Good Intensions

I find it hard to know if my good intentions translated into good actions are always good! You know what I mean? I just feel I have to affirm, appreciate or share my admiration of the people in my life with them most of the time. Sometimes I just worry I may not get another chance to let them know how much whatever they did or said meant to me and so I just have to tell them right then and there how wonderful they have been to me! And if I missed to do that, probably in another conversation I would try to thank them somehow rather than just let it pass. I find it hard to stop myself from doing that but at times I wonder if its the right thing to do after all. Hmmmm...

Was talking to a friend about that and in a minute X put that in perspective - Its your intentions that matter; Nothing else!

I guess i was getting a little caught up on how others perceive me or trying to judge if I could be misunderstood or just not sure if appreciation is something I can freely give.

Conclusion? Its how God's made me and am happy about that. People will just have to put up with it I guess! =)

Btw was just listening to this song while writing this blog and its a good one - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujenRXDu2Ik&feature=related

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . I'm free to be me ;)