Finding Comfort

I had to take my baby boy today for his vaccines. Its his post 6 months ones...since his first vaccine the nurses are always surprised how quickly he calms down. All I have to do is pick him up, give him a good cuddle and then try and point something interesting to take his mind off the pain.

 

His cry in pain is very different from his other cries... its a very deep wail, the sound comes only in pauses but he breathes deeply and I could feel the hurt. Today he had one injection and in a matter of 10 seconds maybe 20 at the most I could calm him down. In fact he was giving me little laughs.

 

It amazes me how he takes comfort in me holding him and saying its okay. How quickly he responds to me saying "Look its a giraffe! and tickling his ears with the giraffes soft tail". :)

 

This evening when we were out on a walk, I bumped the stroller on the sidewalk as I made a turn and his little chin got hurt. I could even see a bit of blood (Its the first time I saw blood) I panicked and picked him up and even the wail he was just starting stopped mid way. "I am in mommy's arms, I am okay..." was that what he was thinking?

 

Made me think of how easy it is to find comfort in the hands of the almighty if we choose to. He holds us in his arms, and when we take our broken hearts, lives, hopes or dreams to him He gives us an eternal perspective on things that fills us with peace beyond understanding and joy that is complete. Yet I choose to wail and rant and hold on to my grief instead of looking to him for comfort.

 

Dear Mister God, this is @ina...Help me to look to you for comfort and stay calm in your presence through life's turmoils. May our little one always know you are near to comfort and direct him in all life's ups and downs.

A little image of God and Us

Its interesting now as we observe our little one and get to know his personality. With time we see more of the person he is or will become.

 

For one, he is easy going, just like dad! Nothing is a big deal. He fusses only when he is uncomfortable and nothing really fazes him. Even when he was tiny, he just seemed easy. If he cries I know for sure he needs something... nowadays, its not just am hungry, or wet its sometimes I need your attention etc.

 

He laughs a lot and is such a happy baby. He always was a happy baby but I see it more now. Always smiles when you look at him and try to make him laugh. If am really funny he laughs and squeals non stop! :)

 

Another interesting things about him is, he is so so friendly! He loves any other person who is smaller or taller than him. He is not as friendly with strange adults but with children he just loves them. His face lights up, he starts making excited little words, wants me to carry him or let him walk to them and he would like to make friends with kids in Walmart, Costco ... anywhere! :) We were visiting with friends with little ones and it was the first time, mom and dad need not be close.

 

He is our little foodie - snacks often like mum, has a sweet tooth like grandma and wants tasty food like dad.

 

He loves books, specially his Bible - like Grandad sure looks like he could enjoy reading very much. Anywhere he sees his Bible he would dive for it. Its his favourite book because Grandma read to him from it everyday.

 

Well, his cars and the spinning of the wheels are so interesting these days. He can spend a lot of time with a car just moving its wheels round and round with his little fingers. Gets all absorbed into what he is doing and looks quite serious.... a lot like his uncle.

 

Crashing cars made him laugh like nothing else... the other day just an empty box tossed around was so funny...zooom, brooom, kaboom...are all favourite sounds... he is such a little boy already!

 

God made him so unique and beautiful in His image for His glory. :)

 

Dear Mister God, this is @ina... Thank You for a beautiful baby made in your image. May we help mould him in your ways that all his days he will bring You Glory.

Motherhood

Motherhood can get quickly complicated sometimes... lately I have been worrying too much. The books say I need to read, talk, teach, include learning and fun activities, help him develop all these various skills - fine motor, gross motor, sensory, logic, reasoning etc. etc. Added to that are the worries if he is getting enough nutritious food, long enough rest etc etc.

 

I have had to come to terms with the fact that I probably will never feel like I have done enough...I will always wish I could do more, be around more, have more time etc etc but that's okay. It keeps me striving to be all that God intended me to be for him.

 

However, I get so caught up at doing things with him that i sometimes wonder if I have made time to just enjoy "him, my little baby"...The time is going by so fast - sometimes we have an organized day, sometimes its chaos... he loves to be with mommy all day long and at times mom finds that hard. He has the biggest beautiful smile for mum, and sparkling eyes that make any heart melt....lifts his arms up to say "carry me please, I need a hug". He laughs and squeals with excitement, its just so so beautiful a sound yet like I said some days I wonder if I took the time to enjoy it all and have fun with him.

 

I have this figurine that a friend gave me...  its a mother spinning with her little one in the air. Its the perfect gift to remind me to just have fun with my little one, I thought to myself and placed it in my kitchen window. I guess its something I need to remind myself everyday... Yes, its good to do things with him but sometimes its also nice to just cuddle, kiss, tickle and play. I love the way his dad and him just cuddle and play...he calls him his beautiful son every single day and says how much he loves him.

 

Motherhood involves a lot of doing but its important to remember to just be together.

 

I guess that's what my heavenly father asks of me to. To sit awhile with him before I run off to the call of duty.

 

Dear Mister God, this is @ina...I need the grace to just be and not constantly want to do. Help me Lord.

New Baby and New Home

Hmm... where do I start? This has been an ongoing battle within my heart and I find it so hard to confess... I just feel guilty.

 

We moved into our new home soon after the birth of out little one. Like any lady, this is our first home and I was so excited. All year round as we waited for the home to be constructed I saved pictures and ideas for designing the interior of the house to make it home.

 

Well, a new little one changes a lot of things...It means waking up tired every morning, napping whenever you get a chance, doing one chore a day and being so proud of oneself, a good meal and a clean house is the biggest achievement... what about all the decorating plans and projects?

 

Well, that's just it... I wish I had time to customize and hang paintings, print favourite photographs and have them hung up, organize shelves more neatly, spring clean etc etc and sometimes I am frustrated that my house does not feel as much a personalized home as I would like...

 

But then I remember its my first year with my son....looking back I don't think these projects will mean as much to me but at the moment I feel at times like a failure if I cannot do both.

My hubby darling tries to help but I guess most days we both are overwhelmed...

 

Seasoned moms perhaps have suggestions for me...and yes I try my own little ways to keep up with both but many a day I just have to settle and leave things undone with a smile knowing tomorrow is always there.

 

Perhaps all this is just teaching me to Lean and Trust the Lord more, for he gives rest to the weary soul.

 

Dear Mister God, this is @ina... Lord, give rest to my anxious soul. May my failures make me lean into you more.

 

I Just Want To Be Where You Are

One of my favourite songs used to be I Just Want To Be Where You Are by Don Moen. I would sing this song with great devotion to the Lord.

 

Recently the song has come to have a whole new depth and meaning to it for me....You see, my little one really demonstrates what those words mean. He really, Just Wants To Be Where I Am. He is happy playing by himself and doing things as long as he can see me and knows I am near. If I were to walk away, he watches for a bit and then before I know it there will be big crocodile tears rolling down his cheeks and cries as though I was gone for ages!

 

Wow....if only I could walk with the Lord that way!

 

Dear Mister God, this is @ina...May this be the cry of my heart - I Just Want To Be Where You Are,

 

 

Special Flowers

Ah! Dad and Baby went out for a walk and came back with a bunch of beautiful, bright, yellow Dandelions for Mom! :D BIG Smiles.

Thank You Dad and Baby!

I had to pen this out because it was such a special feeling to have Flowers from Dad and BABY for the very first time! When I babysit I love to take kids for a walk and ask them to pick flowers to give Mum...never thought one day I would be in the receiving end! 

Dear Mister God, this is @ina... Thank you for the simple, beautiful memories we create each day and the joy you give us in everyday life. 

Road Trip!

We were planning a nine hour road trip for a few days. I really wanted to go but was very double minded - would baby travel well? would he be too tired? would the change be too much? would he handle meeting so many new people? will he stay healthy?

 

I battled the pros and cons in my head, talked it over with grandma and frankly got overly stressed. Finally we decided to go and the night before we left, I put him to sleep and was trying to finish packing his things. As I finally switched off the lights in his play room, the little toy car shouted "Road Trip! Brooom... Broom" LOL

 

It felt like God was smiling down at me and saying, "Relax, its going to be okay".

 

Well, it was! He had a wonderful time. He took the travel well and just loved being out in the camp site... looked at trees closely, loved the grass... it was his first time out since the weather was warmer.

and yes, everyone loved him -  his sprakly eyes, big toothless smile (for the last time), sitting up by himself he enjoyed playing and watching other kids.  His first two little teeth were making their way out and yet he did not let it dampen his spirit too much.

 

I realized I was needlessly worried and should relax a little more. Grandma is wise and keeps reminding me to try new things and give him space. Easier said than done! :)

 

Dear Mister God, this is @ina...Thank you that you watch over your little ones and calm us even in our needless fears.

Sound of a Baby's Laughter

Today my baby laughed! Yes, he actually looked into my eyes, opened his toothless little mouth and laughed... its the  most musical sound i have heard in all the world. I was of course just being silly and he was responding with a laugh. :)

Ahhh! words can hardly express how full and delighted I felt. That first laugh. The first time he looked into my eyes and smiled with a laugh! It felt monumental! A cause for celebration.

I had no idea my babys laughter could make me so excited. Thank you Lord, for a baby who laughs back at me I said and danced in joy.

Dear Mister God, this is @ina...May his laughter fill our hearts and house and may he bring Joy and laughter to your heart, all the days of His life, O Lord.

Your Mercy and Faithfulness

We began this New Year with some good friends. It was an evening of food, fun and fellowship. Our friend shared a nice thought with us and I definitely want to blog it!

Psalms 92:2 says, to proclaim your mercy in the morning and your faithfulness at night. We talked about how it would be a good practice to everyday put forth to the Lord in the morning one area in our life where we need his mercy, his grace, his love to carry us through and at night remember one area where we saw his faithfulness and be thankful for it.

It's a powerful thought come to think of it - I wake up and always find the need for His mercy in my life and I find the minute I take things to him his grace abounds. Likewise its so easy to forget his faithfulness by the end of the day and yet when I make a conscious effort to meditate on it, my heart overflows with thankfulness.

As the New Year dawns, I am challenging myself to proclaim His mercy in the morning and His faithfulness at night.

To all my blog friends, Wishing you a Blessed New Year!

Dear Mister God, this is @ina... Thank you for your mercy and your faithfulness in the year past and the year to come.

The Birth of our Son

What can I say? Nov 9th, at 5:26 pm, the doctor placed this beautiful little baby, on my chest. I squealed in excitement. Nothing can prepare you for the moment you see your first child. I am not sure what i expected but i could not believe my eyes when I saw this perfect little person, with tiny hands and feet and a remarkable little face. His eyes were opened and he looked up at me hearing me squeal.

It was amazing and took a while to sink in that he is mine! The day we were to leave the hospital, thats when I felt my knees fall to the ground and my eyes fill with tears of thankfulness that God would trust me with such a precious little bundle. He is mine to cherish and nurture. He is given by God that we may learn and enjoy the meaning and fullness of love.

I am reminded of the song...

How sweet to hold a newborn baby
And feel the pride and joy He gives
But greater still the calm assurance
This child can face uncertain day, because He lives

Dear Mister God, this is @ina...May he know you and love you and serve you all the days of His life.  

An Immigrant

I find that being an immigrant is exciting and challenging. Exciting, because of all that's new and challenging for the same reason. I guess as the excitement wears out with time and then the challenges see a little bigger... I have been blessed with friends who are helping me with the journey and a husband who is always there for me to lean on.

I recently met this lady who was an immigrant and as I watched her talk about herself I learnt something very important - she had a sense of humour about herself. She laughed at all the things she found so odd and took her mistakes lightly. She connected instantly with the young people she was talking to simply by being humble about herself and her experiences.

Everything is a learning experience in a new culture - keeping a sense of humour and taking yourself lightly helps in any place but i think is absolutely essential to get through the intial years of being in a new place. Simple things like driving, talking to people, entertaining that I could do with ease at home seems more stressful in a new place. But with a healthy dose of humour, Lifes journey is full of good memories!

Dear Mister God, this is @ina... Help me to take the very things that upset me and find a way to laugh about them and myself!

Waiting

Why do we hate to wait? I guess its because we recognize that things are out of our control and that can be frustrating. It takes awhile to come to the recognition of that fact - emotions are generally up and down, we try to take control in more than one way and then when everything fails we come to a point of surrender.

Maybe thats why God purposed waiting. It has a way of bringing us to acknowleding how frail we are as humans and how much we need Him and with that recognition the dusk turns into dawn as we are slowly able to take our eyes off ourselves and see our lives from His point of view rather than our own. Deep down we know that we will rather have His way than our own.

As a young couple we had to wait miles and miles apart from each other where days for one where nights for the other, indefinitely till we could get my immigration done after our wedding.

I look back now and we are so grateful for that time - though it was long, dissappoiting at times, and many a time felt endless God had a purpose and a plan. At every low He was there, at every turn He held our hands, at every breaking moment, He lifted us up again - He filled us with peace where there was pain, with joy when there was sadness, wiped away every tear with hope, helped us see purpose in every uneventful day of waiting and filled us with divine promises for the future.

Well the waiting is over and as I fly to my home away from home - I look forward with joy and look back thankful for the time with family and friends.

Dear Mister God this is @ina... Waiting though hard turned out to be exciting in You, sitting at Your feet, hearing, listening, discovering each day had something new and of eternal value. Thank you.

No Holidays

I have the greatest respect for this person. She wakes up early in the morning and begins her day with God. She makes tea even before the rest of the crew wake up. She greets each one with cheer and takes care of all the mundane tasks to get each person out of the house to their respective destinations and also manages to care for the house. Her day never ends early and she seems to always have a zillion things to do until everyone is at bed. She finally makes her way to bed too.

What amazes me more is she is the reason for cheerfulness at home. If she is upset, everyone feels down and so she does her best to be happy rain or shine, storm or calm, good days or bad days. I have come to appreciate her ability to smile on a sad day, dance on any given day, stay lively even when those around are moody, be calm when no one else is and when everything falls apart, still bounces back to being herself and doing all that she does, like it or not - for US!

Yes, you guessed it, its my Mum.  Physical, emotional, spiritual challenges often come our way and sometimes for extended periods but she never takes a holiday. She is there for us, always. I love you Mum for all that you are. You are Incredible!

Dear Mister God this is @ina... Grant me the grace to be a joyful home maker dear Lord.  

The Power of Love

I have been following this series on TV called "Parenthood" which is about the lives of one big family and the everyday life and struggles in each of their lives.

It includes the story of a brother and sister living with their mother and grandparents. The father comes in town and visits them after what seems a long while. The father and a daughter, have a verbal war and the father who was in town visiting leaves. She apologizes to her brother who longs for a relationship with his father at which point he says "If he was a real father, nothing you could ever do could make him leave"

And that's true! In a real relationship there are hardships and hurts but nothing a person can do can make us leave when we choose the way of love. (Unless of course it is an abusive relationship.) The power of love is being there for a person through thick and thin, joy and pain and so the wedding vows resound "I take thee to have and to hold, from this day forward for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, (and all that life brings in between) to love and to cherish 'till death do us part."

My Darling, I may not be a lot of things, but I will be there for you, always.

Dear Mister God this is @ina...Enable us to be there for every isolated stranger who you have put on our paths and to know that you are always, always there for us.