Appreciation

Appreciation is one of the words I love in the English language simply because it opens one to a world of positive possibilities.

Know what I mean?

Appreciation can be made known in a zillion different ways. A simple nod, a look in the eye, a smile, shaking hands, a hug, by the use of words simple or poetic, gifts …

This morning I expected to be hear the words "Good work". Yeah, I know it’s not good to have such expectations but this I told myself was an exception.

I was disappointed.

It’s a hard confession to make because I always thought I was mature enough to handle such disappointment with a smile!

Anyway by the end of the day I also had to say goodbye to a friend who was moving on. As she bid farewell, her eyes filled with tears while repeatedly talking about a card another friend and I had given her on her birthday. I faintly remember writing a long note on the back and her tears said how much it meant to her. Honestly I never thought it could mean so much.

There is a time and a moment for everything and so also with appreciation. An opportunity once missed it may never come back and once given, there’s no telling how much it could mean.

As I write this I make a silent vow to myself to never miss up such an opportunity. Join me? :)

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . .”Good Work”, I hear you whisper in my ear.

I want to reach the sky!

I spent the afternoon with my niece who’s just turned three.

She sat on my tummy as we lazed on a deck chair and played silly games for hours together laughing and tickling each other. After a while we went for a walk, her little hands held on to mine and once again we played funny games with each other. Suddenly she stopped me and said “I want to reach the sky”. She simply meant she wanted me to throw her up in the air and catch her which i gladly did! : )

My favorite game of the evening was: She would walk a few steps away and come running back and fling herself at me in one big bear hug after which I would pick her up and twirl her around and set her down only to repeat it all over again!

I realized something as I said goodbye to her when it was time for her to go home. With her big eyes, the things she said, the way she smiled and the things she did, she absolutely made sure that I could think of nothing else but her every moment that I spent with her!

Actually felt so good to take my mind off my life and everything about me and be lost in my little niece’s world. Thank you darl. In a way I reached the sky too.

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . I guess sometimes reaching up to the sky is actually a lot simpler than we imagine it to be. ; )

Musing Aloud

Why is it that the people we love the most are also the ones we hurt the most?

This thought has been ringing within me for awhile now. I realize I go out into the world each day and try to be the best me I can be. But at the end of the day many a time there’s that pent up frustration, disappointments, or displeasure that I cannot afford to let out through the day. They can be personal failures, or things that perhaps did not work out well or something like that.

I come home and I know this is my safety net. This is the place where I can be the plain me. No dressing up around here. I can afford to loose my calm. I can let them know if I am upset about something. And yes at times I do hurt the ones I love and care for the most, when I do.

But something Mum used to say comes to my mind…”Home is the kind of place where any of us can let out a bit of steam and still be loved not despite of it but for it too!” : )

I guess that’s the most awesome feeling of comfort you get with the people you love most. They love you for all that you are not despite all that you are and so even the hurtful side finds a place to hide in their love.

Like I said just musing aloud…

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . I find my hiding place, my resting place in your Love.

Stepping Out

When you step out,
You make a few enemies,
You make a few friends,
And between you discover your wings.

These lines popped into my head while I was thinking about some experiences. Just felt like sharing them with the world.

To all of you out there: No matter how hard it is, take a chance and step out. Never miss out on the chance to do something different or try something new or just be radical.

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . As I take each step, tough as it might seem at times, I pray you guide me.

To Mom

When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

There is no life, no life without its hunger;
Each restless heart beats so imperfectly;
But then you come, and I am filled with wonder;
Sometimes I think, I glimpse eternity.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

You raise me up mum... To more than I can be.I love you. Happy Birthday!

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . Thank you for mum, the most beautiful woman in the world.

Interacting with People of Power

Today I had a unique opportunity to interact with some people of power.

First, there was X, who I interacted with only through mail. X had taken notice of a mighty small detail and took the time to talk about it and make things easier or better. It left me stunned for two reasons: The fact that a person of power could empathize with me and the fact that a person of power took the time to change things around as insignificant as that might be from X’s position.

Then, there was Y. Interacting with Y was indeed a rare privilege. Y put away pressing meetings, an already overloaded schedule just to make it to this rather trivial appointment. We were discussing a looming possibly difficult event that may soon take place but Y’s perception amazed me. To Y it was simply an opportunity to pioneer something never done before. “Yes we might fail" Y added “but hey! At least we tried.” The other thing that amazed me was that Y was extremely magnanimous. In my mind I felt that the way a few things were done was so unfair but Y chose to overlook it with a smile.

And then there is Z who is also a person in power, I admire a great deal and have the chance to interact with quite frequently. Z is a person whose principles and priorities amaze me since they have stood the test of time and pressure. I have always thought you need to be *someone* to make a difference but Z taught me that you just need to have a simple dream and follow after it one step at a time to make a difference.

I realized that my initial perceptions of power as proclaimed in my previous post may not be all that warranted.

Power mostly leads to one being unduly criticized, grossly misunderstood and most of the time taking chances with things that one is never really sure about. Plus the outcome of one’s decisions may well have many people’s lives at stake and so it’s rather a hot seat to be in.

But Power does gives you the highest privilege of all: To touch and transform lives in ways both great and small in a scale that is not determined by the power at hand but rather by the person whose hand power lies in.

To the people in power, I salute you. To the ones who are not, we still have the privilege to touch and transform lives by the power within.

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . Bless the people in power.

Power

The word *power* tends to stir a sense of fear in my heart. It’s not a word I am very comfortable with especially when it concerns me…In the sense that, I’d rather not meddle with *power*.

Power gives one the ability to make decisions for others. It strengthens you to go where no one else dares to go. Power can drive you further than you are supposed to go. It can draw you into unexpected and unwarranted circumstances. Power can bring out the worst in you. It can make the most humble of beings loose perspective. Power can make you tough. It can make you blind to the obvious.

I was lost in such mid morning musings today. I realized that power is dangerous especially when it is given to you when you are not prepared to handle it. But I also realized something else. Power has another side to it - Potential.

The potential to make things better. To change things in a positive way. To make reality possibilities that could only be hoped and dreamed of by some others.

Power is a responsibility that often is entrusted to individuals after much debate. Some squander it, some misuse it, some do nothing with it and still others use it sparingly.

I’ve always wondered if power is something I desire in life. And I often wonder what I would do with it if it was mine.

I leave you with the same questions.

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . Grant me enough power to match my purposes for each day. Not too much nor too less.

Celebrating A Journey

It’s been two years as of today, since I began doing what I do.

I never thought I would be doing what I am doing. I had my heart set on a lot of different things and I pursued them for awhile but as things turned out this opportunity came knocking at my door and I kind of tumbled into it with much uncertainty.

Looking back the only words that keep playing over and over in my heart are - Thank you.

So to all of you who have been part of this journey with me in some way:

Thank you for the companionship. Thank you for the laughs. Thank you for the support. Thank you for the listening ear. Thank you for putting up with my eccentricity. Thank you for showing me better. Thank you for the helping hands.

Thank you for teaching me the value of the words ‘it’s okay’. Thank you for pushing me further. Thank you for giving me wings. Thank you for being there when I fell down. Thank you for picking me up and encouraging me to go on.

Thank you for the casual conversations, the earnest advice, the gentle warnings, the patient guidance and the constant motivation.

Thank you for the breaks, the lunches, the treats, the outings, the surprises, the mails, the messages, the calls and the many other little things that will stay in my heart a life time through.

Thank you for *You*.

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . Thank you for being there every moment of every day at my every beck and call. : )

A walk on the Beach

I live in a city with one of the longest coastlines in the world and have been fortunate to have always lived pretty close to the beach.

I have taken so many walks on the sea shore but just as the patterns that the clouds form in the sky can never be replicated, the shore line always has a different story to tell.

When there is a high tide the sea is wrestles and the coast is ravaged by the huge strong waves. It’s not a pretty picture and I prefer to stand and watch the sea at a safe distance. But when there is a low tide the sea is calm and friendly and it’s nice to take a walk on the shore.

Today was one of those low tide days and the coast was absolutely beautiful. For some reason the sea shore seemed broader than I have ever seen before. There were corals and shells of different colors and shapes strewn on the wet sand. The wild sea breeze was pleasant in the backdrop of the waves that seemed to be in fact lazing in the setting sun.

Mum and I walked on and on, and my dog followed us quite excited. It’s a walk that ended a rather memorable day with my family, mum & dad, my brother, my grandma and my aunts. : )

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . Am speechless, for once.

The Heart, The Head & The Connection

I was pleasantly surprised by X’s kindness and went out of the way to tell X how much X was appreciated for all X’s efforts. However later I wondered if I had crossed the line and said more than I should have while being appreciative and put X in a rather embarrassing position.

Hmmm… I find myself quite often in fixes like these.

You see my heart just has to tell people how much I like, enjoy, care and appreciate them. My mind however is more sensible and warns me of things that can be said and things that should not be said just incase it leaves me misunderstood or the person concerned in an awkward position to reciprocate the same in some way.

But the connection between the heart and the head is hard to make. And I find myself many a time swinging like a pendulum from one side to the other not knowing which one to listen to. Sometimes there's a sixth sense that tells me what I need to do. Sometimes there's a calm voice instructing me. Sometimes there's nothing at all. And these are times I am most confused.

What can be said and what not are split second decisions and so at the end of the day I find myself going over my day and wondering if I got it wrong or right. This time I must confess the peace in me was disturbed. So I probably did not get it right. I should have listened to the head and not the heart. Still, I can’t go back and do things differently so I just wish I had a better way of knowing.

As I sat pondering along these lines, I decided to just lay it down. I know this experience will help me judge better next time what needs to be said or done and that alone makes it all worthwhile.

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . It’s almost the break of dawn and as I still sit pondering over yesterdays spilt milk thank you for giving me a whole new day to start afresh.

World Peace

I was talking with a friend today who seemed quite distraught. We kept meandering from one topic to another but never actually quite got to what was on X mind. Seeing that X was not too comfortable I asked if there was anything on X mind that I could pray for. After a long pause X replied, yeah. You could pray for dash and everyone’s happiness!

Everyone’s happiness? LOL! That’s plain silly I thought to myself.

X I have known to be a person who is most often building castles in the air trying to find solutions that will make everyone happy and bring World Peace! As ridiculous as that cliché statement sounds a part of me wondered what if there was a possibility that we could indeed make everyone happy.

Out there is probably a young Miss Y who is in a messed up relationship of some kind and to pray for Y’s happiness means to pray that Y has the courage to move on, go through some pretty difficult times that would ultimately make Y happy. Then there’s Master Q who has found these bunch of buddies who seem ultra cool only until he finds a darker side to their seemingly harmless fun. Q now has some drug abuse problems and a lot of other things to deal with. To pray for Q’s happiness would mean to ask for Q to be sent to rehab, go through depressing times and then ultimately be free. Then there is posh Mrs. R who seems to have it all so easy but every night she cries herself to sleep because she does not find the joy she seeks in what she has. To pray for R would mean R would have to open up in pretty radical ways that can be nothing but painful times until she ultimately finds herself content. I could go on…

But the point is I realized that when I pray for someone’s happiness I am not necessarily praying for an immediate alteration in their circumstances that will lead to sudden happiness. Instead I pray into their lives circumstances that in some way ultimately work out for their happiness!

I guess it’s not all that silly after all to pray for everyone’s happiness. Plus when I pray for happiness I better be prepared to be broken, shaped and polished by life’s circumstances.

Still think we need to work towards World Peace?! ; )

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . Glad you are out there constantly doing all you can to make sure everyone’s happy!

Don’t say what you don’t mean

Words have always enthralled me because words have life. And the life that is given to them is breathed by the speaker of these words.

They can make you sing or they can make you sad. They can make you laugh or they can make you cry. They can heal, or they can hurt. They can give you wings to soar or they can chain you to a dark dungeon. They can make bright days seem gloomy or gloomy days seem brighter than the sun. They can charm your heart or cheat your mind. They can beckon you into new heights or can cause you to fall into deep pits.

They have the power of life and death.

I went through a distressing time this week when I had to be stern with a few of the people I interact with on a daily basis. My mind threw up words that would have wounded. Words that were careless and insensitive. Words that I knew were not to be uttered but God knows I was more than willing to utter.

But through it all that small firm voice said to me again and again: Don’t say what you don’t mean.

I had to wait to calm down.

Fast forward: I did not say what I wanted to say and guess what? The problem was resolved in a more gracious way because of the choice of the words and tone that was soft and gentle but conveyed the message.

It was worth the wait and at the end of it all we could all still smile.

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . So grateful to you for the grace you bestowed on me. But for you I am nothing.

Overwhelmed

My life’s been touched by my friends today. Friends who surprised me by going out of the way for me and simply doing everything they possibly could to make this day a day I will never forget all my life.

Etched in my heart is the sounds of their voices and laughter, the sights of flowers, wrappers and treasures hidden within but best of all the love and care that was shared so generously and so spontaneously that I simply felt overwhelmed.

Now at my bed-side I sit writing this post.

I want to voice words that could say thank you but what I feel is much too deep to be conveyed by those simple words. I want to do something special for each of them but I realize that will never be enough either. I want to whisper a special wish on every one their lives and hope the next morning their wish will come true but that may not be possible to do.

So instead I choose to bend my knees and say a silent prayer for each one of those beautiful people who blessed me and made my day breathtaking in every way. Just know it is the best gift I could give.

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . : ) [Somehow that’s all I feel like saying. I guess you understand.]

Popularity or Criticism

I was watching this talk show on TV and a prominent sports person from my country was posed this question: Popularity or Criticism – Which is harder to face?

Well, I’d encourage you to answer that question for yourself before you go on! : )

He tactfully answered it saying that they both have their Pros and Cons and you really cannot tell. Constructive Criticism he said helps but still may not be pleasant and popularity does get into your head but definitely feels more pleasant.

Personally I find criticism, constructive or otherwise difficult to take but I thrive on appreciation. Well, who does not? ; )

Anywayz, the point is I *know* criticism really helps me and am ultimately so grateful to the people who take the time to let me know when I am out of line. Popularity on the other hand, makes me feel like a princess for a day but the bad side is I may wake up the next morning and find it was all a dream!

The difference is one is an instant energizer the other a pill that will help with time. And some of us need more of any one while others need an equal portion of both but none can live without either. My point: I’m going to be happy when I am dished out either coz they complement each other and generally come together.

So getting back to our question, which is harder?
I’m just gonna have to tactfully say that they both have their Pros and Cons and you really cannot tell. ;)

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . I’m glad that you blend into our lives a perfect mix of things that enable us to grow into your perfection.