Saturday, August 05, 2006

Novelty to Normality


Cacti flowers are rare and amazing. They have rich colors and are very unique. It is usually quite a novelty. Back when we first begun having a few cacti plants, I remember mum waiting, and watching for flowers on our plants. The smallest bud would cause so much of excitement!

Now, it’s different though. We have a number of cacti, and they flower in turns. Sometimes we even have 3 different flowers at a time. They are still as bright, and beautiful and amazing as they were before but the novelty has worn of. Now it’s more a ‘normality’! We expect them to flower and don’t celebrate it as much as we used to...

Mum and I were just talking about that and realized how much of the novelty of life we hardly celebrate these days and instead just take it for granted. I tried spending the rest of the day remembering what was once my novelties... like the chocolate bar I had for breakfast, the strawberry milk shake that I gulped, the work I dreamed of having and this column I’m writing!
You know what, it changed my day. These things need to be celebrated. Every day if need be. :)

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . talking with you is another one of those things!

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Wishing I had Super Powers!

I have been having this playful conversation with a friend about having super powers! I claim I can turn my friend X, into a frog, and X in turn plays along claiming a mystical green fairy, who is also a figment of our imagination will save X!!
:)

Yeah, it may be silly but at times I think it sure will help if it was true! No, not to turn my friend into a frog… (well maybe) but more for those moments when I feel helpless ... and just wish I had super powers to make it all okay!!

Kid’ish huh? Perhaps. But I’m sure all of us at some point of time wish there were things we could wish into being or wish out of being!

Still, when all my wishing seems to be of vain, I realize that God does have all those super powers and more. But if he should remain silent, or allow that something that isn’t all that good then there’s got to be something to it. Like recently I was very worried about Y, being in a lot of peer pressure. I prayed about it and wished it will just go away, till I had to be reminded by the still voice within me that Y, needed to go through that peer pressure to be able to face life as Y grew older and that Y would not be ready to take on the world unless those elements unpleasant as they seem, are part of Y’s life.

So here’s my conclusion to all the problems that I as a human cannot resolve without super powers: Just trust the one who has those powers to make it okay!

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . Perhaps I ought to be grateful I don’t have those super powers... I might end up with frogs for friends! ;) :)

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Is it real?

A friend and I enjoy receiving beautiful pictures of nature via email. Sometimes it’s pictures of the four seasons in countries we have never been, or its pictures of valleys, mountains, waterfalls etc. Whenever we get these pics we share them amongst ourselves and a few other friends.

Oft the first question raised is “Is it real?”. In a world were anything is possible on the computer with graphics and animation, it is actually quite hard to believe that these pics are for real. And somehow the more beautiful the picture is the harder it is to believe that they are real.

While having one such discussion, my friend remarked, “Anything that’s perfectly beautiful, we just can’t accept it, can we? We have got to think it cannot be real!!”

True! It also applies to stories I read or hear. Like, the other day I read this story about a person who made it despite a thousand odds in the sporting field, and the first question that crossed my mind was “Is it real?”

I wonder what it is in us that just refuses to allow us to accept something that is beautiful, perfect, or extraordinary? I wonder…

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . guess that’s perhaps the reason we people ask you if you are for real too?!

Saturday, July 29, 2006

On Branded Stuff

I found myself dressed in branded stuff today. I was quite shocked when I realized it because I am not someone who is very much into buying branded stuff but have been doing so lately for various reasons like the colors, fits and material.

My mother reads up about all the brands and would always give me advice such as X jeans do not respect human rights in third world countries and Y jeans are so much better in their policies so buy Y and not X. She herself follows these standards about buying anything from coffee that costs almost nothing to shoes or clothes or whatever. I also come from a country which has a heritage of wining it’s independence through boldly defying the norm and by boycotting products that did not respect human rights.

Today however we as a generation are hardly sensitive to such pleas even if we heard them. Comfort, looks and trends are more important to us than the ethics. I cannot boast of caring even half as much as my mum does or the generations before her about what X or Y factory does as long as X or Y is affordable.

Callous isn’t it? Just got me thinking. Some things need to be passed on from one generation to another.

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . Wake me up! Wake up my generation!

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Etc…Etc…

I was talking to a friend of mine who has gone on a short term to another country primarily for work reasons. We were talking about the travel, the people, the sites to see, the variety of food and generally all those other things that make the experience complete rather than the primary reason of the visit which was work related.

“Have fun traveling, site seeing, meeting people et cetera I said!” And X replied overjoyed “The et cetera things are all I am doing!”

And that’s when it dawned on me… Somehow though our work is most often a primary part of our life/day, often it’s all the *et cetera* things that goes along with it that truly completes our life/day. Like for me, sometimes it’s waking up and seeing the blue sky or walking around my garden and catching a whiff of the flowers, or sometimes just sleeping late, or hanging around with my family or just eating a special meal ... et cetera!

You get where I am heading? I’m learning to stop wishing I can do some of those *et cetera* things by letting work come in my way, and instead actually doing them. Join me! :)

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . Sure am happy you created 'et cetera' ! ;)

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Biting into the Bait

The bait was all set up. It was covered with a large piece of fresh meat and I would think looked really tempting to a born predator. Leaves and mud was used to make the place look as unsuspecting as possible to the wild cat who was supposed to be the unknowing victim.

As time passed she finally appeared. Cautiously she approached her instincts at full alert. The smell of the meat was irresistible and was drawing her closer and closer till finally she was within sight of the bait.

I was routing for her. "No, don't, don't" I cried, at the top of my voice. Of course she could not hear me, through the television screen. She pounced on the meat and before I knew it was lost in the pit just below the bait, her trap!

...Okay, that was not a pleasant story and I apologize. The reason I narrated it however is coz it has a very apt life lesson to teach me.

I found myself caught in a similar drama recently. I was totally on the right (for once!) and X was on the wrong. X however decided to throw up a tantrum and be generally *bad*. And I *so* wanted to get back. I *so* wanted to prove myself. I *so* wanted to prove my point. I *so* wanted to...

But I knew that the right thing to do was to let it pass. Unfortunately... (!?) The bait was set and I like the wild cat just wanted to pounce on the meat. It was irresistible but not wise. Today somehow I did not bite the bait but I know there have been ‘n’ times I have and the outcome has never really benefited anyone.

So hey out there! Think again . . . it may just be a temper tantrum or an addiction of some kind. Like I said think again because once entangled it’s even harder to get out of it and it just ain’t worth it!

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . I know you always route for me, help me not to neglect your call.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

The Phone Call

Tring-Tring… Tring-Tring…

I am standing closest to this common phone that is used by a few of us. So when I hear it ring, I pick it up.
Me: Hi! This is xyz.
Caller: Hi! Can I speak to S.
Me:(Look around) Sorry, S is not available.
Caller: Do you have S’s cell phone number?
Me: No, I’m sorry. I do not.
Caller: (Pause) I see.
Me: Can I pass on a message?
Caller: (Reluctantly) okay. Can you tell S, that S’s dad passed away and there is someone waiting to see him?
Me: (Pause)!!!
Caller: Hello?
Me: What??!
Caller: Repeats himself.
Me: (Pause) Okay.
Hurriedly I put the phone down!

2 minutes later. I call back again…
Me: Hi! I just received a call from this number…
Caller: Yes, I called.
Me: Did you want to pass on a message to ‘S’ as in the ‘S’ with such an such sir name.
Caller: Yes.
Me: Can you repeat the message please…
Caller: Yes. (Repeats it)
Me: Okay. I shall pass on the information.

A little stunned I informed a friend of S, K. So K wisely (You will know why soon) called S and simply said someone is waiting to see you.

Shocked by the sudden news I found it hard to go on with what I was supposed to do. S however returned shortly and seemed hardly disturbed. I wondered why. And usually in such a situation my spirit would begin to pray for the person concerned but today I just was shocked and did not feel much more.

About 2 hours later however, the message…err… correct message came trickling to my ear.

S’s wife’s, mother’s mother had passes away and S’s dad came to *see* him and give him the news!!

:)! LOL?!

It really was not all that funny for me right then though! :/ But Gosh! Was I relieved! Not only that there was not much bad news but also that S never heard the misguiding message I received. * Thank God *
Apart from that I still dunno what to make of the whole incident except that communication can be so critical at times. And a G-A-P in that can cause a lot of problem!! And I mean a looot!

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . err… (Chuckle)!

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Going back to my Roots

Over the last week, I got to visit the small village where my dad grew up for the first time. I have heard so many stories of his growing up days from him and his family and could only imagine what the place would be like.

We reached the little village around 10 in the morning and I was taken aback. It felt like we had traveled back in time … My dad was coming back after 24 years and even he was shocked. There were no roads except around the village. The houses were neatly aligned in rows with about 20 feet between them and looked like they were out of an old movie, with tiny front yards, and sloping roofs with tiles. The soil was like sea sand, loose and soft but reddish. I threw my sandals away and ran along the sandy streets just getting a feel of the place. There were not many people out at that time, perhaps the moms and dads where at work some place and the kids at school, while the older generation rested indoors till the sun went down a little...

The highlight of the little village was the church. All the roads led to the large red stoned beautiful church right in the center of the village, with a steeple that reached up to the sky having a big round clock midway. It was absolutely stunning. I have seen a lot of church buildings but none as beautiful as this one. It was built in the beginning of the last century and inside the windows had some amazing paintings. I walked around with my dad as he narrated the many events that took place over the years on those very grounds.

Dad had climbed up the steeple many a time when he was young but now it was closed as the ladders that went up was a little shaky. Dad however wanted me to get the full experience so we decided to give it a shot. The person in charge gave us the keys and we found a tiny little passage for one, through which we began our climb. Mind you, this steeple was exceptionally tall. There where seven levels and each level kept getting narrower. Dad led the way and soon we were heading up! On the third floor we found the mechanism for the clock. It was huge and ancient with a big round pendulum and a perfectly in tune tick-tock. On the floor above the clock was the large iron bell. Gosh! Though rusted and dusty, this bell has been ringing for the last two centuries 24 times each day, telling this little town the exact time from generation to generation!! As we climbed past the 4th level I felt like I was in a Famous Five Story book!! Creaking wooden panels on the floor, a narrow shaky ladder, up a dingy tower ...! :) Now we had pigeons flying in and out as well, through the large stone windows that gave us light and air. The view was getting more and more amazing. Finally we reached the top floor. Only one person could fit in the very top at a time since the wall was much narrower and so Dad encouraged me on. On one side, there was a small hole in which was a nest with a young pigeon and on the other side was the last stone window. I peered out and watched the tiny world underneath me! There was a cool breeze. Parrots flew way below me. The kids formed a line outside in the village school and they looked like ants in uniform! I could see this entire village and all the neighboring villages, perhaps even the other side of the globe! :)

Slowly we climbed back down and as we reached the last floor, dad picked up a pigeon feather and gave it to me. He said “That’s in memory of our little adventure”! The feather is safely tucked away in my little wooden box of treasures and the memory will remain forever in my heart. On my knees in that old church I whispered a little prayer, renewing a commitment I made over a decade ago. Before long, it was time to go.

Nothing had changed. To me it was a picture perfect village!
Still, I did not see a hospital, or even a tailors shop. No large vehicles, only cycles. No eating place or entertainment. I wish there was something I could do to plow back into that village that today created this wonderful family I am part of that is spread all across the world. I will.

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . Help me to always remember my promise.

Saturday, July 08, 2006

The other side

Oops! This is yet another story from the roads I travel on!

We have been having a major half of a long stretch of the road I travel on daily blocked out for more than 9 months now. There where big posters on the partition apologizing for the inconvenience and asking us to be patient. One of them read “You have to put up with the rain in order to enjoy the rainbow”. I loved this one and it just made me smile no matter how bad the traffic got on that stretch due to the work taking place.

Finally however this has come to a close, more or less and this morning the ‘other half’ of the road was opened to us for the first time. Since there where big barriers I never got to actually *see* what was happening on 'the other side'. Rumor has it however that work went on night and day. The road which was about 20 feet now spanned for about 50 feet! It promises to be simply too good to be true!
Driving down it the first time, I caught myself thinking “I had no idea there was so much of work going on this side”!

It’s like that with life too I guess. We see the side of us that the world see’s and judges. But there is ‘another side’ to us which is constantly (night and day) growing with every new experience, changing with every new encounter, and expanding with every new opportunity. We may not always *see* it and progress sometimes seems (painfully) slow but the fruits of which we will enjoy, in time. We just need to be patient and not give up! :)

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . Enjoyed learning that lil lesson with you today.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

The invisible Men

I was driving home late last night on one of the best laid roads in my city. It’s one of those roads where you can drive pretty fast and not be too alert. . . (Hope my dad does not come across this!) ...;)

Anyways, I was quite amused to find two (police)men, carrying a big chunk of cement right to the center of the road. Apparently there was a big pot hole, and they were trying to fill it in. As I passed by that strip, I came quite dangerously close to falling into it myself but was waved away by them.

The road was deserted and cold and these men where just doing their work, unwatched, unknown. As I drove on I thought about the next morning when the peak our traffic will jam the roads and many a car, bike, van, lorry, bus will pass that way. Who knows what could have happened if that pot hole was not taken care of? Who knows, perhaps an accident was averted by this act?

Today, we had a heavy down pour. I had forgotten all about what I just narrated but as I drove home and passed by that same strip, it was covered with ankle deep water... I could not see the road clearly but was confident that it will be okay. Someone had worked extra time to make sure the road will be safe for me.

Ever grateful to these invisible men and the many more out there who toil so things will be okay for people like me.

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . Make me like these men, hidden and unknown perhaps, and thought little of by those around but satisfying your heart.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

On a Holiday

I had been on a holiday with my friends and colleagues, to a beautiful hill station. Here’s a recollection of my most cherished moments:

Day 1: We were packed and raring to go on Friday night. The train was at nine and we all jammed in. The best bit of the journey was staying up late into the night chatting non-stop! The next morning we got of on our station at 4 am. It was cold and the chirping of birds was so loud that I had to raise your voice to be heard. My heart was excited and the sights and sounds made me feel like I was part of the opening scene in the movie Sound of Music! :) The hills are alive . . .

We reached our hotel around mid-morning. It was a beautiful place perched a little higher than the village that surrounded it. Our room had a lovely French window on one side from where I could see part of the village, comfy chairs to recline, and a huge bed in the center! Jus Peeeeeeeeerfect! :)

Washed and loaded with a big breakfast we did a bit of sight seeing that day and where back by late afternoon. Too excited to rest a few friends and I took a walk around the place and just enjoyed the sights and scenes of the hills. Every turn brought you to a new place! Every hill looked so alike and yet was so different. I couldn’t get enough of it!

Late that eve we settled down to play some indoor games and I got to pick up a table tennis racket for the first time. It was fun. With a slight change in the rules of the game we proved to be experts! The rule being the ball can go anywhere in the room other than on the table! ;)

Day 2: One of my friends came knocking at half past 5 in the morning. I was the only one semi-awake so dragged myself from under the thick sheets that helped keep me warm in the freezing temperature and opened the door. She had come to pick up a sweater she had left the previous night. Am going for a walk she proclaimed, and before she could finish I was grabbing my sweater and running after her.

The morning is the most beautiful time to experience the hills and I just did not want to miss it. We went on a steep climb from on narrow road, from where we could see quite far and wide. The rustling of the leaves and the not-at-all gentle breeze is something I can’t ever forget. We plodded on, picking wild flowers and chatting.

Just when we were thinking it would be nice to have a hot cup of tea we bumped into a couple of other friends who had also decided to come out for a walk. We joined company and since no tea shop was open we decided to instead trek a near by mountain. Has we began our climb, using a narrow path probably left by those who come that way to collect fire wood we were joined by a fluffy dog! He decided to be our guide and marched on in front of us!! Overjoyed dog and man exchanged roles and we followed faithfully till we reached the top. It was beautiful. The breeze was so strong that the trees waved like a flag. We stood for awhile, took a couple of pictures and began our climb down. Of course with our expert guide we had no reason to worry. As we made it back to the road, we turned around to thank our faithful friend and found he was no where! He had left, who knows what else was on his agenda for that day! We rounded up our trek with a hot cup of tea and were back just in time to get ready and set out for sight seeing.

Our agenda included a lot of trekking and rock climbing. I can’t say it fun at all times but it was definitely worth it and I enjoyed it. Cause after what seemed like endless walking we reached rocks suspended in the middle of nowhere from where we could view breathtaking sights.

The day ended with a bonfire. I grabbed on my sweat shirt, a pullover and a scarf and made my way along with friends to what was a small amphitheater with a bonfire in the center. We had loud music, games, dancing and a whole lot of laughs! :D After the festivity was over and all left a few of us returned to the same place later that night. The place that was full of life hardly an hour ago was now perfectly silent. We huddled close to fire which was almost dying out. In the strong breeze that blew now and then the embers flew high, and looked like fire flies in the dark night sky.

Day 3: A few of my friends and I woke up early. We had decided to trek the same near by mountain and this time reach a little spring we had noticed the other day from the top. So off we went, camera in hand and sweaters wrapped around us. We reached the spot where we could see the spring flow over the rocks but actually getting down to the rocks seemed a lot harder. After contemplating the risk we decided to give it a shot anyway. We made it without much too much of trouble and soon found ourselves sitting on a rock with a beautiful stream flowing around us, among flowers that were the size of our heads! My friends requested a song, and so I sang “Over the mountains and the seas...” to my petite audience. It’s a moment that shall remain forever etched in my heart.

Later that eve, after our regular sight seeing for the day we took a long walk to a lake nearby. We rented out cycles for an hour and rode around the lake. I have not been on a bicycle for ages and riding it brought back childhood memories. The lake was beautiful and the only way to best experience it was on a bicycle! It was so much of fun!! That was followed by a little treat washed down with a hot cup of tea!

Day 4: I just wanted to warp myself tight and sleep but this was gonna be our last morning on the hill and I just could not miss it. So forcing myself out of bed I found company and decided to go out. I walked a little way and since the others decided to trek and I was not too eager to do so, took a short walk back singing at the top of my voice! Thank God, there was no one around! :)

As I reached base I found another troop just starting out into the mountains and joined them. We took an entirely different road that led up to an old school. The building was completely run down and the board said “Batch of ‘86’!” Hmmm…eerie! After taking a few snaps we hitchhiked our way back on a local bus glad to be back to familiar ground! ;)

The trip was almost done. We were to check out and spend the day near the lake bicycling, taking pictures and shopping. Gathering my stuff together, as we left the room, I could not help kneeling by my bed side and saying a simple short Thank you. This holiday had turned out to be more beautiful than I had thought or hoped.

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . Glad you convinced me to go! :)

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Teary Eyed Me

Hmmm... I find myself teary eyed and I can’t quite explain why. Something relatively minor has left me in a total mess for the last two days and I just can’t get over it!

I’ve been a little over worked and touchy, and that’s the only reason I can find. I just have not have had enough quite time and mole hills take the shape of mountains in my head! :/

I wish I could just get over it but I can’t. I need to take a break but I can’t. I need to re-focus on what’s important in life but I can’t. I just need to be quiet, but I can’t.
It’s just so hard. I know what I got to do but I just can’t do it.

Been there? I sure hope not......!
Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . Grace to seek you I need, for in you alone I find rest.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

The One who Stills me

I was on the phone with an aunt of mine after quite some time. We talked about the general ups and downs in our life… things she referred to as ‘volcanoes and earthquakes’ …. Pretty descriptive I think ‘coz mostly we seem to be either trapped in circumstances that just *erupt* or circumstances that *cave* in… on us!

‘But’ she added with a pause, I come home to X and X helps *still* me.

Hmmm… loved the way she put that! I guess we all have that special someone in our lives, who can just help us be *still* when everything else erupts or caves in on us. Know what I mean? Or perhaps there is more than one person like so in our lives.

I can think of a few and I’d really like to be that kind of a person to a few too. :) And to those special people who just help *still* me. Thank you.

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . You are one of those special people.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

B-L-A-C-K

One of the most beautiful movies I have ever seen is an Indian Movie called Black. I have been meaning to write about it for long, and finally am typing it down…!

It’s about a little girl, who was born blind. She has never seen light and lives in a dark world and hence the name Black. Her parents do not know how to help her and she grows into a wild child, and has an animal like existence. The role is so well portrayed in the movie that one can literally feel the darkness, depression, desolation and desperation of this little child. She gets worse as she grows older and finally her parents decide she will either go mad and has to be taken care of in a special place or they need to find her someone who will be able to draw her out of her dark world.

Help comes in the form of a teacher who is specially gifted. He moves into the house and begins to help her. It’s not easy. He is strict and she has never been used to discipline before. He is literally thrown out of the house because her parents do not like the way he teaches but he persists. He struggles to break into her world of darkness by enabling her to connect words with the feel of things. After a long ordeal, light finally breaks into this young lady’s dark world as she begins to recognize words and associate them with touch!

The story does not end there. The student depends on her teacher to show her the world through his eyes. They go on to achieve what was never thought possible by sheer determination… (Shall not disclose the end incase you want to watch it and have not yet!)

The reason I narrate is because I could connect with the little girl lost in a dark world. I may not be plunged in physical darkness but I am talking about the darkness inside. The darkness that we all battle with some times, some days. Perhaps we even battle it everyday. And like the little girl we need to be taught one small step at a time to reach out for the light. It’s not easy and sometimes it’s just sheer determination that will keep you going.

Ever been there? If yes, you are not alone.

Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . My teacher, my friend, Can’t imagine a life without you.