I made a decision yesterday to do something. It was a small decision but not an easy one. It took me lil courage to take. I had to pep myself up and finally take the plunge. It was one of those 'I got to do what I got to do' moments. Now that it was done I thought that the trauma (of the process of making a decision) would end there. But No! I spent today thinking time and again "Was it right? Could it have been done better? Should I have done it differently?" so on and so forth . . .
Ugh!! And all this for one small decision that was a lil out of the ordinary!
I'm not someone who typically struggles with every decision I make. (Thank God) But this one I struggled hard with. It involved pushing myself into something I had not done before and that perhaps explains it.
The three questions which hit me in the same split second and contributed heavily to my decision not to mention my trauma where :
Q1. What will the impact of my decision be on me or what I am doing?
Q2. What will people think or say about me?
Q3. What if I was wrong?
Q1. This was perhaps a wise thought. I flowed along with it literally weighing out the pros and cons in my mind till I was more sure that it would have a positive impact than a negative one.
Q2. Ah! I can please, some of the people, some of the time; all of the people, some of the time; some of the people all of the time but definitely not all of the people, all of the time. So EOD it does not matter unless and otherwise I'm being offensive and even that could be given a margin. (Yeah, easier said than done)
Q3. Let’s face it. There is a chance that I am going to be wrong. But living in fear of doing so is not living at all. So I guess this is a chance I must be willing to take.
So done with the rigmarole of answering my questions, I have finally arrived at my decision. And guess what? I'm not certain of it. And then it hit me. I realize it's relativity rather than certainty that counts. If I wait till I'm *absolutely* certain, I may not make my decision at all!
Perhaps many things about life are like that. You may not be certain but deep down there is a quite assurance of what you got to do. It may just last a moment but you got to hang on to that and let go of the rest. It's all that really counts.
Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . Help me be okay with the quite in my heart.
Ugh!! And all this for one small decision that was a lil out of the ordinary!
I'm not someone who typically struggles with every decision I make. (Thank God) But this one I struggled hard with. It involved pushing myself into something I had not done before and that perhaps explains it.
The three questions which hit me in the same split second and contributed heavily to my decision not to mention my trauma where :
Q1. What will the impact of my decision be on me or what I am doing?
Q2. What will people think or say about me?
Q3. What if I was wrong?
Q1. This was perhaps a wise thought. I flowed along with it literally weighing out the pros and cons in my mind till I was more sure that it would have a positive impact than a negative one.
Q2. Ah! I can please, some of the people, some of the time; all of the people, some of the time; some of the people all of the time but definitely not all of the people, all of the time. So EOD it does not matter unless and otherwise I'm being offensive and even that could be given a margin. (Yeah, easier said than done)
Q3. Let’s face it. There is a chance that I am going to be wrong. But living in fear of doing so is not living at all. So I guess this is a chance I must be willing to take.
So done with the rigmarole of answering my questions, I have finally arrived at my decision. And guess what? I'm not certain of it. And then it hit me. I realize it's relativity rather than certainty that counts. If I wait till I'm *absolutely* certain, I may not make my decision at all!
Perhaps many things about life are like that. You may not be certain but deep down there is a quite assurance of what you got to do. It may just last a moment but you got to hang on to that and let go of the rest. It's all that really counts.
Dear Mister God, this is @ina talking . . . Help me be okay with the quite in my heart.
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